Author Topic: Gabriel's Rebuke  (Read 2822 times)

hypnotoad

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Gabriel's Rebuke
« on: Oct 02, 2017, 02:17 AM »
Gabriel's Rebuke

"Harken you Angels, all you hosts of Heav'n,
Who stand by undecided at this time!
War is upon us, yet you take no action!
Do we sit here to save ourselves the grief
And the gruesome realities of war?
Or do you wish not to be routed from
This Heavenly seat if defeated, having
Chosen unwisely? I dare say, that we
Would surely share in the fall if we choose
So, not to fight at all, and stand aside,
For being undecided is like taking
Part against God, the Sovereign Lord of Heav'n,
As this one act, of exempting ourselves
From combat, is clearly against His will,
And certainly a sign of non-allegiance,
When He hath called us to arms to defend
His throne and see that Justice be upheld!
If so, that we choose not to help His cause,
And lend Him not our strength of arms, but watch
From the sidelines, claiming ourselves t' be neutral,
The safer bet, then the Almighty Victor,
Who most certainly will prevail, may take
Us for enemies of Heav'n and Himself,
Having refused to join His ranks in Heav'n's
Time of need, as cowards before the onslaught,
Not having taken up our swords and shields
In defense of this sacred ground, an' therefore
Partaking not to see th' righteous prevail.
Our ignominy would be well deserved,
Who durst defy the Almighty's command
To defend Heaven and uphold Justice,
That Peace and Order be reclaimed, and end
This conflict, sooner than not, with our aid!"



[note: a fragment]
« Last Edit: Oct 02, 2017, 03:09 AM by hypnotoad »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #1 on: Oct 02, 2017, 03:02 AM »
Vulcan's Trap

     Apollo, who sees everything, had seen
The love affair between Venus and Mars,
And went to Vulcan to inform him of
What he had seen. When Vulcan heard the news
Of this betrayal, he was angered and filled
With righteous jealousy, and so devised a plan
To snare the two and catch them in the act.
And, so, he fashioned a net made of copper
With threads so fine it was nigh invisible
To the naked eye, and then went to the chamber
Of their adultery and placed it round
The bed and waited for the two to come,
When he would spring his trap and shame them both.
     Before long both Venus and Mars appeared
And fell into the bed as they embraced,
When Vulcan saw his chance, and, in a fit
Of rage, ensnared the lovers in the act,
Then dragged them to the heights of Mount Olympus,
And threw them down before the rest of the gods,
To publicly shame them, uncovering
Their wanton, lustful deeds for all to see.
     The gods then gathered round, and when they saw
The struggling pair, thought it humorous
The way they fought and kicked in vain to free
Themselves, and laughed about the whole ordeal
Making a mockery of the whole scene.
Vulcan, then, sought to be granted divorce
And asked that he be recompensed for all
That he had paid, in vain, for Venus' hand.
Jupiter saw the jealous anger burning
On Vulcan's countenance, and so in pity,
Sought to appease the smith god with the promise,
If he would keep his wife, that Mars would pay
To make amends and settle the dispute.
Vulcan agreed and kept Venus for his wife.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #2 on: Oct 02, 2017, 03:02 AM »
Rise of the Gods

They came from all the ends of Earth, to serve
In building temples; fashioning their idols;
Each man to his own god, and daily taking
Their fill and making merriment before
The table of the gods. Yet, what they sought
They took the more, but were not thankful for
All the gifts bought at th' expense of the gods,
And, bolder, never thinking twice to halt.
Zeus himself burned in anger, and grew bold
Enough to threaten pouring out his wrath
And let the burning flames consume them all.
Poseidon, Hades, an' all the other gods
Then gathered at Olympus and held council.
They all agreed that such severe attack
As to consume with fire the world of men
Was dangerous enough to pray a halt,
That such intense a flame could spread to heaven,
And they themselves would suffer just as ill
A fate as those mortals upon the surface.
So, Zeus agreed and sought another means
Of which to solve the problem of the hosts
Of men who had gathered in wantonness
To take advantage of the gods to ruin.
When, they agreed as one to gather arms,
And so besiege in might with wind and rain,
To flood the world and wash away the lot.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #3 on: Oct 02, 2017, 03:03 AM »
Athena

One day the great god Zeus became so troubled
About a headache which had long plagued him,
That, able to bear it no longer, he pleaded
Among the gods to help him in his plight.
They quickly brought Hephaestus before Zeus
And asked the smith god for his aid, to see
If there was anything that he could do.
The Smith proposed a speedy operation,
In which he took his weighted ax and split
Open Zeus's head, cleaving a wide gash,
From which out sprang a goddess, fully clad,
With sword and shield, bellowing a war cry,
Who became Zeus's most loved child, Athena,
Who blessed mankind with wisdom and her arts.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #4 on: Oct 02, 2017, 03:08 AM »
Paradise Lost is the CD I travel with.  8)

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #5 on: Oct 02, 2017, 03:32 AM »
Paradise Lost is my piece.
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« Last Edit: Oct 03, 2017, 05:13 PM by hypnotoad »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #6 on: Oct 03, 2017, 05:10 PM »
I really want to write more in classic blank verse. It's one of the most flexible, and conversational poetic forms. Not to mention it's fun to use. The only problem is I don't like to revise my work in depth all that much. On the up side, my poems often talk about themselves, as poems, i.e. on form, and I use flaws to my advantage, because you can describe basic or complex ideas.
« Last Edit: Oct 03, 2017, 05:12 PM by hypnotoad »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #7 on: Oct 03, 2017, 05:20 PM »
All the above not only deal with events, but the poems talking about the poems themselves. My favorite being 'Vulcan's Trap' dealing with disjointed enjambment, and 'Gabriel's Rebuke' talking about blank verse as a competent form. 8)

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #8 on: Oct 03, 2017, 06:01 PM »
'Rise of the Gods' deals with letting the form run wild, specifically 'enjambment,' as it's my main issue I've been working on. 'Athena' is simply about momentum.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #9 on: Oct 03, 2017, 11:15 PM »
Stephen Fry and this Arrow book was my poetic foundation back in the day.  8)

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #10 on: Oct 03, 2017, 11:24 PM »
Basic forms... intricate revolution theory.  8)
« Last Edit: Oct 03, 2017, 11:29 PM by hypnotoad »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #11 on: Oct 04, 2017, 12:08 AM »
From a man who knows what it's like to be persecuted for who you are. I love this man.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #12 on: Oct 04, 2017, 12:11 AM »
Home is where your heart is. Maybe you didn't hear the first time...
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Offline Red Pill

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #13 on: Oct 04, 2017, 12:12 AM »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #14 on: Oct 04, 2017, 12:23 AM »
thanks  :)

Offline Red Pill

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #15 on: Oct 04, 2017, 12:36 AM »

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #16 on: Oct 04, 2017, 01:51 AM »
My piece? It's why I was so adamant about Paradise Lost!  ;D

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hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #17 on: Oct 04, 2017, 02:39 AM »
I'd encourage anyone interested to give it a read, but I'm a lyricist and read it a lot to stay sharp with flow and the natural rhythms of poetry. Sooner or later it becomes second nature, and it just happens.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #18 on: Oct 04, 2017, 02:42 AM »
modern verse trips me up so bad tho, as i try to experiment with line breaks... but i also like concentrated, simple, understandable messages, so i'm kinda torn.

hypnotoad

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Re: Gabriel's Rebuke
« Reply #19 on: Oct 05, 2017, 02:15 AM »
On using meter and reading it, you kinda want to ignore it.

Natural language is so exactly expressive that it has a very steady, unnoticeable rhythm.

In fact, lyricist often focus on drums as ques, more than actually following the rest of the song, that way they can easier express things without bending what they mean to fit the melody too much.

Studying blank verse, I've learned to focus on phrases and commas as ques more than trying to force a melody, allows natural expression.

Modern verse trips me up so bad, but it wouldn't so much if i actually used random line lengths. Blank Verse just reminds me of some of these very crucial things, and why I prefer the form.