Sharing Lungs - Deftones Online Community

Other => Art => Topic started by: mascara87 on Dec 13, 2007, 07:12 PM

Title: lost soul
Post by: mascara87 on Dec 13, 2007, 07:12 PM
Scattered in the fire is where my soul does lie
Burned by greedy flames ,waiting their to die
Black burned and brittle still
I threw it in with pain, only wanting to kill
The pain of waking up and dreading everyday
I knew it would be best just to throw it all away
My cold lonely tears slowly drown this hole
But it wont fully fill
For I have lost my soul
Title: Re: lost soul
Post by: wither-I on Dec 14, 2007, 04:26 AM
try to never use the words kill, soul, and pain in the same piece.
read the dictionary/thesaurus, it will give you gunfire.
keep on....