I woke up a bit late today and barely made breakfast. So I sat alone in the chow tent or DFAK as the army likes to call it. As most of you can imagine not being around women for about 8 months will make you forget one or two of your table manners and I was shoving food down my throat at a constantly accelerating rate. Suddenly I felt a bit of a pressure in the back of my throat. Hmmmm, so I assumed that I had some food clumped up into my esophagus and took a drink of apple juice to try and wash the obstruction down where it belonged. Well I knew I was in trouble when I could feel the apple juice going down my esophagus, but the pressure remained. Well at this point my ability to breath seemed like it would be an important thing to check, after all I am an EMT and we are taught to check Airway first. And I discovered that inhalation was actually not a task I was able to perform. At this point I realized that I might be in trouble. In fact the only other souls in the room were a very small mouse who only moments earlier I was devising a plan to kill, and a very old afghan man who walks around all day saying nothing but the word "shabaz" (pashtu for good job) over and over and over again to himself. So as my vision started to tunnel and I could feel my heart beating through my neck I quickly made my way to the front of the tent as I knew some of Americas finest soldiers were standing by a fire right outside. But then I stopped and pondered a though. I was in fact one of two people on this camp that wears the uniform of the United States Marine Corps. And I constantly tell the Soldiers on the camp that they are a bunch of pussies. All in good fun of course, but still. I knew that if I went out seeking help that I would be ridiculed for a good couple weeks. All in good fun of course, but still. I have my pride. So I stopped, turned to a table, and performed the Heimlich maneuver on myself. The food must have not been completely down my Trachea but was possibly sitting on top of my epiglottis because my body also decided to vomit at the same time, and after a good three or four violent spells of emesis I could breath once again. I then returned to my breakfast and total disregard for table manners.
There is a simple point and moral to this story. that I hope you all learned as you read. But if not, I will state it for you. Swallow your food, not your pride. I still have the right to call the army pussies because of it.
wow, i'm glad everything is ok Trey. this act of bravery adds to your level of awesomness ;)
Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...
Fag
Quote from: tarkil on Jan 23, 2008, 04:01 PM
Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...
Fag
LMFAO! ^5
i want to know what you did to the vomit? since you didnt state whether or not that the actual puking took place outside the mess tent, i have to assume you blew chunks there. you didnt say if you cleaned it up, only that you went back to eating. so, did you just leave it there? it would be awesome if you did for someone else to find
That would've sucked if you died. All that shit you talked and then you choke on something. Still, glad you're okay.
Quote from: ImperfectCircle on Jan 23, 2008, 10:28 PM
That would've sucked if you died. All that shit you talked and then you choke on something. Still, glad you're okay.
;D
Quote from: Variable on Jan 23, 2008, 03:10 PM
Swallow your food, not your pride.
MAN that's the qoute of the day, I'm serious. I'm glad you're ok, and you're lucky your an EMT or whatever it's called. Average people would die...
Jokes a side, glad you're alright.
I got stun by a bee once, wowwweee I thought my little finger was gonna fall off.
shabaz
Quote from: devilinside on Jan 24, 2008, 03:14 AM
shabaz
lol that made me laugh so hard. Im pretty sure there are pics of that guy on youtube. He just walks around going SABAAAAAAZ shabaz shabaz shabaz SHABAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZ
Quote from: goldpony on Jan 23, 2008, 09:32 PM
Quote from: tarkil on Jan 23, 2008, 04:01 PM
Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...
Fag
LMFAO! ^5
i want to know what you did to the vomit? since you didnt state whether or not that the actual puking took place outside the mess tent, i have to assume you blew chunks there. you didnt say if you cleaned it up, only that you went back to eating. so, did you just leave it there? it would be awesome if you did for someone else to find
I actually did leave it there. Two different places. Making other people clean up your puke is the only way to roll.
Quote from: tarkil on Jan 23, 2008, 04:01 PM
Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...
Fag
awwwwww, he called me his friend
heimlich maneuver?
german words sound weird between englisch words.
cant you get some afghan girl there?
with a beard and hair on her back
you know its actually not called the heimlich maneuver any more. Dr. Heimlich was sick of being called in as an expert whitness in law suits so he asked that it be called something else. I think we are calling them abdominal thrust now.
And no, I can't get an afghan girl. That would not be very good in the big picture for the war on terror
Hence the cock chocking... I get the picture, yes.... :)
the us military will do whatever it takes to get the job done. I suck cock for world security.
ha ha ha ha... Reminds me of Team America ! How are you doing down there ?
Any other story worth the telling ?
I'll make love to you right now if you tell me you'll never die.
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 24, 2008, 06:50 PM
I'll make love to you right now if you tell me you'll never die.
lol. made me actually laugh out loud.
Quote from: tarkil on Jan 24, 2008, 03:52 PM
ha ha ha ha... Reminds me of Team America ! How are you doing down there ?
Any other story worth the telling ?
well.........not really. Just the US army is stupid and fucks everything up. 3 guys got shot last night, because they walked into a village where we have been saying there are 40 insurgents for like a month now. But these guys were SF so I guess they knew better than us. Retards
Quote from: Variable on Jan 24, 2008, 03:36 PM
And no, I can't get an afghan girl. That would not be very good in the big picture for the war on terror
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Fuck war.
make love, not war.
or make love while at war, like what James Bond does!
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 25, 2008, 09:11 AM
Quote from: Variable on Jan 24, 2008, 03:36 PM
And no, I can't get an afghan girl. That would not be very good in the big picture for the war on terror
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Fuck war.
well in this case. Me loving an afghan woman could cause blood shed. Sooooo yeah. How old are you anyways?
and just a side not, I have experienced both love and war. I prefer war
Love can also be war.
I'm 25, why do you ask?
Quote from: Variable on Jan 25, 2008, 12:49 PM
and just a side not, I have experienced both love and war. I prefer war
That's depressing.
Quote from: Variable on Jan 25, 2008, 12:49 PM
and just a side not, I have experienced both love and war. I prefer war
Fucked up bro! :o
To each there own... I've been held hostage in my own house for 6 hours, I was pistol whipped and beaten with a golf club... My roommates and I had to pick which one of us needed to die according to the two masked men. Shaking, I raised my hand, he told me turn around and get on my knees, he put the gun to my head. His buddy hit me with the club, then they left finally. When we went to the cops they arrested me for a warrent and raided our house for drugs. So fuck military, fuck cops, and even though I like you Trey. I don't think we could ever mesh well... Don't take it the wrong why, I just have a much differenent outlook on life... A more postive, less violent, less bitter outlook. I've been through more than you'll ever know.
Maybe I should add I've had friends murdered, one girl had her throat slit by her boyfriend. I was in the car before it happened. She was alive for around six hours bleeding to death in the woods of the Seattle area.
I once had a gun held to my head for not letting some dumb fuckers into my house for a party because I didn't know who they were. The kid wouldn't get off my lawn so I shoved him againist my house and said leave. His friend pulled a strap to my head. I ducked and ran inside, a gun shot went off and the kid blew his hand off in my front yard. He thought the saftey was on when it was not.
Yeah, wow, war is great. Fighting is the last option for a fucking idiot IMHO.
Quote from: White Pwny on Jan 24, 2008, 06:52 PM
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 24, 2008, 06:50 PM
I'll make love to you right now if you tell me you'll never die.
lol. made me actually laugh out loud.
;)
Oh my god that video was funny... Brillant, I really enjoied that!
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 25, 2008, 07:44 PM
Love can also be war.
I'm 25, why do you ask?
because your over simplification of life is like that of a 15 year old.
Quote from: Shaye on Jan 25, 2008, 08:35 PM
Quote from: Variable on Jan 25, 2008, 12:49 PM
and just a side not, I have experienced both love and war. I prefer war
That's depressing.
Not really. And I think the ridiculous amount of EMO bands out there is proof that love is depressing.
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 25, 2008, 10:02 PM
Quote from: Variable on Jan 25, 2008, 12:49 PM
and just a side not, I have experienced both love and war. I prefer war
Fucked up bro! :o
To each there own... I've been held hostage in my own house for 6 hours, I was pistol whipped and beaten with a golf club... My roommates and I had to pick which one of us needed to die according to the two masked men. Shaking, I raised my hand, he told me turn around and get on my knees, he put the gun to my head. His buddy hit me with the club, then they left finally. When we went to the cops they arrested me for a warrent and raided our house for drugs. So fuck military, fuck cops, and even though I like you Trey. I don't think we could ever mesh well... Don't take it the wrong why, I just have a much differenent outlook on life... A more postive, less violent, less bitter outlook. I've been through more than you'll ever know.
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 25, 2008, 10:11 PM
Maybe I should add I've had friends murdered, one girl had her throat slit by her boyfriend. I was in the car before it happened. She was alive for around six hours bleeding to death in the woods of the Seattle area.
I once had a gun held to my head for not letting some dumb fuckers into my house for a party because I didn't know who they were. The kid wouldn't get off my lawn so I shoved him againist my house and said leave. His friend pulled a strap to my head. I ducked and ran inside, a gun shot went off and the kid blew his hand off in my front yard. He thought the saftey was on when it was not.
Yeah, wow, war is great. Fighting is the last option for a fucking idiot IMHO.
k, a couple things from all that.
It sounds like there were more of you than masked men holding you hostage. If you thought you were going to die anyways, maybe you should have grabbed you balls and tried to fight them insead of laying down like a coward.
You cant be mad at cops for arresting you when you had a warrant for your arrest. Thats what happens when you break the law, common sense.
and believe me, the guys I AM fighting here, would hurt you a whole lot more if they had the chance. I know you find it hard to believe that americas borders could in infiltrated (911) but they can. And a lot of these guys would LOVE to hurt you very, very badly. So fuck off with fuck the military. We are fighting over here so that you dont have to over there.
You brought up that a girl was murdered by her boy friend......sooo love made him go crazy and kill her? also if she was alive for 6 hours then maybe she should have spent a little time of her life off the couch or away from the mall and learned some survival skills. I promise you that I could treat myself for an injury that didnt kill me for 6 hours. Promise. And if I just happen to stumble upon a victom like that, I know exactly how to save their life, thanks to the military.
An idiot in your front yard pulling a gun on you is not the same as war or combat. But one thing is true of both situations. If you hold a defensive posture. Most people will not attack you. If those guys thought you were tougher than they were, they probably would have just left. So while I blame their stupidity, I also blame you for being a pussy.
and saying something like "I have been through more than you'll ever know" is just stupid. Especially when you say it to someone in a combat zone. I dont whine and cry about every thing that has happened in my life because it is stupid to do that. You just sound like a little bitch. You lived, get over it. I am 99% sure I have been shot at more times, and seen more death that you. So think before you speak next time.
But at the end of the day I have multiple friends like you. I dont mind that people think differently that I do. People always will. Sice you quoted team america earlier I will too (to a point) "In this world there are three kinds of people, dicks, pussies, and assholes." You my friend, are a pussy. And you may get a little fired up by some shit that I say because I am a dick and dicks fuck pussies. But in the end, I love me some pussy. So its all good. Plus as Trey Parker and Matt Stone so eloquently put it, dicks also fuck ass holes. And the guys who held a gun on you, murdered your friend, and shot at you, Are ass holes. Think about it.
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 25, 2008, 07:44 PM
To each there own... I've been held hostage in my own house for 6 hours, I was pistol whipped and beaten with a golf club... My roommates and I had to pick which one of us needed to die according to the two masked men. Shaking, I raised my hand, he told me turn around and get on my knees, he put the gun to my head. His buddy hit me with the club, then they left finally. When we went to the cops they arrested me for a warrent and raided our house for drugs. So fuck military, fuck cops, and even though I like you Trey. I don't think we could ever mesh well... Don't take it the wrong why, I just have a much differenent outlook on life... A more postive, less violent, less bitter outlook. I've been through more than you'll ever know.
Maybe I should add I've had friends murdered, one girl had her throat slit by her boyfriend. I was in the car before it happened. She was alive for around six hours bleeding to death in the woods of the Seattle area.
I once had a gun held to my head for not letting some dumb fuckers into my house for a party because I didn't know who they were. The kid wouldn't get off my lawn so I shoved him againist my house and said leave. His friend pulled a strap to my head. I ducked and ran inside, a gun shot went off and the kid blew his hand off in my front yard. He thought the saftey was on when it was not.
Yeah, wow, war is great. Fighting is the last option for a fucking idiot IMHO.
Shit dude. Im never gonna hang out with you. You're bad luck!
or hes just a pussy
Trey, I'm calling you Dwight Shrute from now on... Hahaha, you're exactly like the charater... hahaha, no offense...
lol, thats pretty funny. But I think a bit inaccurate. I love his character though.
only problem is that dwight, is a loser. And even though this would be something that dwight would say.....I am not a loser. Thus the fallacy.
Quote from: Variable on Jan 27, 2008, 09:03 AM
Not really. And I think the ridiculous amount of EMO bands out there is proof that love is depressing
Ok, I see your point and I raise you... ;)
Emo bands are just a bunch of people who make anything sound depressing because they're depressed about everything and can't deal with what gets thrown at them on a daily basis. So they write songs about it, which probably makes them feel better for a short time and in turn depresses everyone who listens to it. They make love sound depressing because one of two things happen to them when they get into a relationship:
1.) They meet up with a nice girl who's not at all depressed and at first glance reads their "Emo-ness" as sensitivity and caring. After a while they girl can't deal with being around a depressed little bitch who brings her mood down constantly and decides to move on...the result, is another album full of pain and torture.
OR
2.) The emo boy meets an equally emo girl (i'm just assumng he's straight for these theories) and at first eveything is all sunshine and rainbows (partly cloudy though, obviously) and eventually it falls apart because both just can't stand to be less emo than the other. It turns into a conflict of who's more depressed and it all falls apart...the result...another album about how terrible and depressing life and love can be.
The only reason there's a ridiculous amount of these bands is because some fat-ass in a tie sitting on the 36th floor of a record company building realized there's money to be made from depressing, whiny emo music. I'm sure all the suit had to do was look up the statistics on prozac prescriptions and ropes to figure it out.
Ugh. If they'd just loosen up their pants and stop combing their hair in front of their eyes and seek some professional help, life wouldn't be so bad. Everything is what you make of it. That is why I prefer love.
(http://www.corante.com/brainwaves/archives/Paxil%20road.png)
ROAD TRIP!!!! I'll bring the Valium lol
Quote from: Shaye on Jan 28, 2008, 05:11 PM
Quote from: Variable on Jan 27, 2008, 09:03 AM
Not really. And I think the ridiculous amount of EMO bands out there is proof that love is depressing
Ugh. If they'd just loosen up their pants and stop combing their hair in front of their eyes and seek some professional help, life wouldn't be so bad. Everything is what you make of it. That is why I prefer love.
;) nice
I dont like EMO bands or anything. It was just a joke. But very nice rebuttal.
But love is not always so nice and happy. A lot of people get hurt by love. And a lot of people die from love. Just like war. Even in war you have love. Love for a country, love for your team, love for your family at home, love of fighting, love of helping people, love of all kinds of things.
only thing is that if I find a girl that I "love" that sets me up to get hurt pretty bad if I just give into it. How do you ever know if someone truly loves you? Plenty of people can say they know. BUt then they get cheated on and left and all kinds of shit. Im not trying to be all gloom and doom here. But to bring this back on topic. If I had been choking around the girl I "loved" and she suddenly realized that if I die she gets my life insurance money (which is not too shabby). I dont know what would be worse, death, or watching her let me die for money. Or even if she did help, but I saw the look of hesitation in her eyes.....hmmmmm. Its possible. I know this whole post was emo, but whatever. I just take love too seriously to want to deal with it right now.
Quote from: Variable on Jan 27, 2008, 09:03 AM
You brought up that a girl was murdered by her boy friend......sooo love made him go crazy and kill her? also if she was alive for 6 hours then maybe she should have spent a little time of her life off the couch or away from the mall and learned some survival skills.
I could sit here and waste my time trying to explain, but I really don't care about anything you say, also, I'm pretty sure you feel the same.
Let's just agree that we both disagree. I had to wait until today to response because I was so pissed off by the shit you said. With that said, I angered you with saying fuck the military. So, FUCK THE FUCKING military. Go on, keep talking shit about my dead "lazy" friend who had her throat slit and arms broken... I can't change your mind, you will never change mine.
I understand where you come from, but I don't like you. I still respect you, but I don't want to talk to you anymore. Later, don't get killed, be safe, and don't choke on your own grub... ;)
yea, choking on food just aint the way to go. fucking up eating so bad you die from it just aint cool
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 29, 2008, 06:55 PM
Quote from: Variable on Jan 27, 2008, 09:03 AM
You brought up that a girl was murdered by her boy friend......sooo love made him go crazy and kill her? also if she was alive for 6 hours then maybe she should have spent a little time of her life off the couch or away from the mall and learned some survival skills.
I could sit here and waste my time trying to explain, but I really don't care about anything you say, also, I'm pretty sure you feel the same.
Let's just agree that we both disagree. I had to wait until today to response because I was so pissed off by the shit you said. With that said, I angered you with saying fuck the military. So, FUCK THE FUCKING military. Go on, keep talking shit about my dead "lazy" friend who had her throat slit and arms broken... I can't change your mind, you will never change mine.
I understand where you come from, but I don't like you. I still respect you, but I don't want to talk to you anymore. Later, don't get killed, be safe, and don't choke on your own grub... ;)
no, you didnt make me angry. I dont get mad because someone thinks differently than me.
Oh, well, fair enough. Wanna make out? ;)
Quote from: 13hourstoparadise on Jan 30, 2008, 09:50 PM
Oh, well, fair enough. Wanna make out? ;)
anytime big boy :-*
I was talking to Trey, but three way... Hell yeah. Wait, are you a chick?
hell no! males only ;)
Sounds good! Camping trip?
as long as i can be the adam sandler to your alec baldwin (hopefully youve seen that sketch)
Nope, please share...
ill see if i can find it later, at work now. basically adam played a boy scout and alec was the scout leader. they were camping. i think you get the picture
Oh yeah, I remember that... hahaha
;D
On SNL, sounds good, how would we fit Trey into the mix. Sloppy seconds?
no, he would be the gerbil ;D
mmmm gerbil la la la la la
well....
thats really great.
You want in?
im just going to pretend that you guys turned my heimlich topic into a CPR topic so that I dont have to feel hateful for calling you guys fags.
Yeah, CPR... ;)
That's what we are talking about. A CPR trip so we can be better prepared to save lives.
And get some on the way.
i like pumping from the top ;D
Quote from: goldpony on Jan 31, 2008, 10:42 PM
i like pumping from the top ;D
non of this made me laugh till this comment.
Quote from: Variable on Feb 01, 2008, 12:51 PM
Quote from: goldpony on Jan 31, 2008, 10:42 PM
i like pumping from the top ;D
non of this made me laugh till this comment.
yea ;D its the stoopidest thing i've heard 2day LOLOLOL
Quote from: Atomic on Feb 01, 2008, 01:29 PM
Quote from: Variable on Feb 01, 2008, 12:51 PM
Quote from: goldpony on Jan 31, 2008, 10:42 PM
i like pumping from the top ;D
non of this made me laugh till this comment.
yea ;D its the stoopidest thing i've heard 2day LOLOLOL
ive out stupided atomic and made trey laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is pretty tough to out stupid atomic.
thats why im so proud.
Quote from: goldpony on Feb 01, 2008, 03:48 PM
thats why im so proud.
im not sure if pride is the right thing to be feeling
Quote from: Variable on Feb 02, 2008, 01:12 PM
Quote from: goldpony on Feb 01, 2008, 03:48 PM
thats why im so proud.
im not sure if pride is the right thing to be feeling
anytime i can beat somebody at anything is a proud moment for me :)
I'm proud of you. :P
Quote from: Shaye on Feb 06, 2008, 08:23 PM
I'm proud of you. :P
thank you for your support
Quote from: goldpony on Feb 06, 2008, 12:22 AM
Quote from: Variable on Feb 02, 2008, 01:12 PM
Quote from: goldpony on Feb 01, 2008, 03:48 PM
thats why im so proud.
im not sure if pride is the right thing to be feeling
anytime i can beat somebody at anything is a proud moment for me :)
u mustn't be proud much