Hoobastank - The Greatest Hits
nothing to add here.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
you
a black, a jew, a mexican, a pollack, and an asian walk into a bar.
the bartender says, "all of you, get the fuck out!"
Quote from: black coffee on Aug 08, 2009, 03:22 PM
Hoobastank - The Greatest Hits
nothing to add here.
haha, seriously? that's hilarious.
that said, their Selftitled is still a decent album.
oh, and this is probably the funniest shit i've read in a while:
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html
this guy is a fucking genius.
Why can Stevie Wonder not see his friends?
Because he's married.
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb209/disturbedchickie/whore.jpg)
Three girls, 12, 13 and 14 years old, are playing around in the stairs of a building. They get in the front of a weird little white puddle. The 12 year-old-girl says: " Hey look, it's milk ! "
The 13 year-old-girl dips a finger in, tastes it and says: " That's not milk, that's sperm. "
The 14 year-old-girl dips a finger in, tastes it and says: " And he's not even from the district. "
[youtube=425,350]4XRt4QIIlro[/youtube]
lol @ shine down unshy and Penicks jokes
HAHAHA!!!! ;D :D ;D
and the rest too !
and what was MJ's last desire?
To be melted into Legos to let the children play with him.
what a dumb joke hahaha!!!!!
Quote from: defTHE1s on Aug 11, 2009, 06:14 PM
and what was MJ's last desire?
To be melted into Legos to let the children play with him.
what a dumb joke hahaha!!!!!
1. you took that from the comments to the video you posted.
2. and you didn't even tell it right. half the joke is that he's mainly made out of plastic.
but yeah, it's still a dumb joke and not very funny.
Quote from: Jacob on Aug 12, 2009, 05:26 AM
Quote from: defTHE1s on Aug 11, 2009, 06:14 PM
and what was MJ's last desire?
To be melted into Legos to let the children play with him.
what a dumb joke hahaha!!!!!
1. you took that from the comments to the video you posted.
2. and you didn't even tell it right. half the joke is that he's mainly made out of plastic.
but yeah, it's still a dumb joke and not very funny.
lol.. yeah.. sorry haha...
Quote from: Jacob on Aug 12, 2009, 05:26 AM
Quote from: defTHE1s on Aug 11, 2009, 06:14 PM
and what was MJ's last desire?
To be melted into Legos to let the children play with him.
what a dumb joke hahaha!!!!!
1. you took that from the comments to the video you posted.
2. and you didn't even tell it right. half the joke is that he's mainly made out of plastic.
but yeah, it's still a dumb joke and not very funny.
wanna see how I chill?
(http://biro.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/angrymonkey.jpg)
so we all love Chuck Norris jokes, right?
just found this one... go to Google, type in "Google Chuck Norris" and click "I'm feeling lucky". hilarious.
(http://imgur.com/6zjNO.jpg)
Hahahaha holy shit. That's hilarious.
bwahahahahahaha
holy crap that's great!!!
You like pics like that ?
http://epicfail.com is your place.
or this http://failblog.org/
i always check out that one daily
What do you do after shaking a leper's hand ?
You give it back to them.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/32691162
QuoteGaddafi – who infuriated the West recently by parading convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi on his return to Libya – has shown hatred towards Switzerland before.
At July’s G8 summit in Italy, he gave a furious speech denouncing Switzerland as just a mafia of international financial terrorists.
According to the Libyan, that means it should be dissolved and the land given to neighbouring states.
French-speaking Romandy would go to France, Ticino to Italy and German-speaking Switzerland to Germany.
An elderly lady decides her and her husband's sex-life needs spicing up, so while he's at work she heads down to their local adult store.
She looks at all kinds of toys and the like, but instead opts for a pair of crutchless-panties.
She goes home, sits on the couch and waits for her husband to return home from work.
When he does she opens her legs and says, "You want some of this big boy?"
He cops an eyeful and replies, "F@#$ no, look what it's done to your undies!"
A zoophile, a scatophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist are having a walk together. Then, a cat walks in front of them.
The zoophile says: " Damn, what a lovely kitty, I'd like to fuck him hard... "
The scatophile says: " Oh yeah, and while you're doing this I would shit on his face ! "
The pyromaniac says: " Then, I'd put him of fire ! "
The masochist says: " Miaow ! "
A mexican man, a white man and a black man come across a fruit farm looking for a place to stay the night. They ask the farmer if they can bunk there for the night. The farmer says, "You all can stay here..under one condition...you keep your hands off my beautiful daughters!" The three men agree to do this. Of course, that night the three men all fuck the shit out of the farmer's daughters. The next morning, the three men wake up to find the farmer pointing a shotgun at them. Farmer says, "Alright, I told you all not to touch my daughters, but I'm a good honest hard working man and I'm willing to give you all a chance to leave here with your lives. I want you to go into my fields and pick 100 of your favorite fruits each...then come back here." The three men go out into the field and pick the fruits and come back. The farmer tells them "Okay, now..if any of you can shove all the fruit into your ass without spilling any..I'll let you go free." The first man, the mexican man picked tomatoes. He tries to shove the tomatoes into his asshole but only gets about 6 in. The farmer blows his head off with a shot gun. The second man, the white man chose grapes as his favorite fruit..amazingly he manages to get about 50-60 into his ass, but he starts to laugh and they all fall out. The farmer says, "I'll give you ONE MORE CHANCE...!" So the white man tries again, and manages to get 96-97 grapes in his ass before he starts to laugh again, they all fall out." The farmer is angry at this point, he yells at the white man "BOY, what is wrong with you? I'm giving you a second chance at life!" The white man says "I can't help it, that poor black fellow went out there and picked watermelons.."
Women's rights.
Porn sites are like sex in real life. You get viruses.
What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
Wataaaaaarr!
(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/79/1263051168462.jpg)
ohoho fuuucckk
http://en.tackfilm.se/ (http://en.tackfilm.se/)
(upload a picture of you or your friend or your ass.. its gonna be great)
this is mine : http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263148754921RA59 (http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263148754921RA59)
Quote from: rock_n_frost on Jan 10, 2010, 06:47 PM
http://en.tackfilm.se/ (http://en.tackfilm.se/)
your ass.. Scarlett's ass ::)
http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263151342216RA86 (http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263151342216RA86)
what's the difference between a pile of rocks and a pile of dead babies?
you can't fuck a pile of rocks.
Quote from: defTHE1s on Jan 10, 2010, 08:33 PM
Quote from: rock_n_frost on Jan 10, 2010, 06:47 PM
http://en.tackfilm.se/ (http://en.tackfilm.se/)
your ass.. Scarlett's ass ::)
http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263151342216RA86 (http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263151342216RA86)
boobs would be better, isnt it
angry girlfriend
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUOr8bJad0s#)
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUOr8bJad0s[/youtube]
awe
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIALhZml2Q0&NR=1#)
Quote from: rock_n_frost on Jan 11, 2010, 12:20 PM
angry girlfriend
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUOr8bJad0s#)
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUOr8bJad0s[/youtube]
:o :o :o
What's a somalian with a coin in his head ?
A nail.
dude, that's horrible.
Quote from: Jacob on Mar 23, 2010, 06:05 PM
dude, that's horrible.
Black humor. Sorry if you're not a fan.
I chuckled.
So this man walks into a bar.
He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.
Quote from: Vesanic on Mar 23, 2010, 06:11 PM
Quote from: Jacob on Mar 23, 2010, 06:05 PM
dude, that's horrible.
Black humor. Sorry if you're not a fan.
HA! black humor. that was funnier than the inital joke ;D
don't worry, I'm very much into black humor. I once talked to a jewish girl about how much I loved Call of Duty 2 but hated that I couldn't play as one of Hitler's lackeys.
Quote from: Jacob on Mar 23, 2010, 10:10 PM
HA! black humor. that was funnier than the inital joke ;D
;)
theis' bruce lee joke was the best!
Quote from: blixa on Mar 24, 2010, 12:07 AM
theis' bruce lee joke was the best!
Wrong.
Quote from: black coffee on Aug 08, 2009, 03:22 PM
Hoobastank - The Greatest Hits
nothing to add here.
This was the best.
it wasn't really a joke. more like a statement. actually let's not beat around the bush - it was fact.
Quote from: blixa on Mar 24, 2010, 12:22 AM
it wasn't really a joke. more like a statement. actually let's not beat around the bush - it was fact.
Posting a topic called " joke of the day " and this being the first message is the whole reason why it's the funniest thing of this thread. :D
i know its really racist but its just a joke! ;D
how do u scare a black person?
hang one from ur tree
Quote from: theis on Jan 09, 2010, 07:04 PM
What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
bahahahaa i was tellin that joke to my friend and i hit him right in the adams apple lol
and there was another time when me and a few friends threw water on the same guy lol
he had a stutterin problem lol dont worry he was a douche lol
Wataaaaaarr!
what do you call a mexican doing good? manwell
a priest and rabbi get deserted on an island. one day they spot a young naked boy on the beach. the priest tells the rabbi, 'we should screw him!' the rabbi replies, 'out of what?!'
How do you spell gay ?
J-U-S-T-I-N-B-I-E-B-E-R.
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because vegans can't change anything. Or the alternate punchline. 301, 1 to change the lightbulb and 300 to protest the waste of energy.
Here's a Disney one...
So Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce...mind you they live in California so it's nothing out of the ordinary. The judge looks at Mickey and says "Now Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie for being silly. It just doesn't make sense." Mickey sighs and looks up at the judge and says "No, she's not silly shes FUCKING Goofy."
ha....
Whats the difference between Roast beef and pea soup..?
Anyone can roast beef but no one can pee soup!
It sucks. ;D
why are aspirins white
they work
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ??'
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
I actually hadn't hear a couple of those. Not bad.
Norman Finkelstein tells a joke about Israel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXAVCpXfdQA#)
Daaaaaaaam
sorry if this has been posted here before...
A little boy hears his a noise coming from his parents room, so he goes to check it out. To his horror he see's his father jack hammering his mother. He runs away screaming.
His mother forces his father to go and explain what was happening, so the father goes to his sons room, only to find the little boy having sex with his grandmother. The father, disgusted, starts yelling at the boy, so the boy turns to his dad and says "Not so funny when it's your mother, is it" :P
here's one a customer told me at work that i'd never heard before:
a guy goes to a motel to get a room for the night. he walks up to the clerk and says "i hope your porn channel is disabled" to which she replies, "you're one sick bastard".
I heard that one the other day,how odd.
It would have been better if the clerk was in a wheel chair
The clerk thinks he wants porn with disabled people in it
Theres a book recently released about a selfish opera singer called 'Me, Me, Me'.
"You ever see the movie 'Constipated'?"
"Nah, is it good?"
"I don't know, it never came out."