Hi fellow SL'ers.
So, in a bit of a dilemma here.
There's this girl whom I've grown strong feelings for and I feel like I need to tell her 'cause it's tearing me up inside. Can't sleep properly, not really hungry and she's always on my mind.
We spend a lot of time together, watching movies, partying, etc and I don't really think she's under any suspicion of how I feel. I've honestly never felt this way about anyone before. She's just *my* perfect type of girl. Sweet, gentle, caring, so easy to talk to and be around...
She's coming over to my house tomorrow night to hang out and I'm thinking about telling her how I feel.
I'm just fucking scared of the consequences. I have no idea how she's gonna react. I'm, of course, hoping for the best...but there's always the possibility of a lack of mutual feelings.
But if I don't tell her I'm just gonna be a miserable bastard and I'll wait for her to hook up with someone else...
How shall I do it? I don't wanna drop a huge "I love you, Isabel" bomb but at the same time it's important for me that she understands that I mean it (hence why I'm doing it while sober).
Ahh... love, it's a motherfucker.
Is it that girl you talked me about earlier ?
Yes...
Tell her. I had the same problem last October when this girl was on my mind. I couldn't concentrate on anything. She didn't have the same feelings as I did which sucked but telling her let me clear my head and move on. Hopefully it will go better for you than it did for me.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I need to get a straight answer so I can move on...
tits or gtfo
I guess she wouldn't be hanging around with you if she wasn't the least bit interested. Don't worry buddy.
Go for it dude!
lolz@deleting my comment.
Livewire said it best. It may not work out dude, I've been in the same position, but you really have to go for it or else you'll always regret it. Good luck!!
she can't be trusted
A girlfriend of mine had a similar problem not too long ago. I told her if she told him how she felt, she would feel better and if she didn't, she would regret it. Unfortunately it didn't go well for her, but she doesn't regret doing it.
I say do it. There is a possibility that things will swing in your favor, but you'll never know unless you try.
this sounds tricky. from what you said, it seems like you guys hang out a lot. if you tell her there will be a very high chance that it can go badly if she doesn't feel the same.
you can have a trusted friend kind of suggest to her or ask her if there's anything going on between you and her seeing as you guys hang out all the time and seem to get along so well. they can get a response for you to work from.
or you can just tell her. don't plunge into it pledging your love. just tell her you have feelings for her and you wanted to tell her because you want to be honest about your feelings because you care about and respect her a lot. it's difficult doing this. i know exactly how you feel. sadly.
Well, you should obviously tell her.
But it's not all roses and kisses after this.
I'd tell her, but I wouldn't go "I LOVE YOU!". That'd just be awkward, atleast to me I have no idea how you handle these sort of situations. Be more "Listen, I need to tell you something, I really dig you, I think you're blah blah blah (all the things you wrote there)" and then maybe if you feel comfortable you say "I think I'm falling in love with you" or something along those lines.
That's how I'd do it. Actually I wouldn't do it because I'm a coward, but that's how I pretend I'd do it! :)
Some great advice all around. Thanks.
Yeah, I'll definitely regret it if I don't do something about it.
Quote from: blixa on Feb 17, 2010, 06:04 AM
just tell her you have feelings for her and you wanted to tell her because you want to be honest about your feelings because you care about and respect her a lot. it's difficult doing this.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Damn, wish me luck...haha.
don't tell her you're falling in love with her. i know you see it in the movies all the time and men think women like to hear that someone loves them, i urge against it greatly. even if you are falling in love with her, which it seems you are. unless you have an incurable disease - avoid it. be real about it. i'm betting your emotions are all messed up and something that seems like it's in the right place in your head is actually somewhere else. sometimes you think you care a lot more for someone than you actually do. don't rush into saying everything about the feelings that you are still developing. your feelings will form into a better shape once you tell her how you feel. there's always a realisation after you say something that you never ever felt or thought before.
we can tell you all the advice you need, but once you're in front of her about to open your mouth you will bloody forget everything. there's just her face and nothing else, and you're going to feel like the most smallest person in the whole world and at that moment you probably are the smallest person in the world. this is what people mean when you offer yourself to another person, naked and all.
i think you are very brave for doing this. most of us hide it inside us and wait for it to go away.
Quote from: blixa on Feb 17, 2010, 12:03 PM
we can tell you all the advice you need, but once you're in front of her about to open your mouth you will bloody forget everything. there's just her face and nothing else, and you're going to feel like the most smallest person in the whole world and at that moment you probably are the smallest person in the world. this is what people mean when you offer yourself to another person, naked and all.
Holy shit, my heart is racing just from reading that. Goddamn, I'm nervous about this.
And no, I won't tell her I'm "falling in love". I'll tell her something along this lines that I have feelings for her and then hopefully the rest comes naturally.
Also, she's just so beautiful and that makes it even more intimidating.
I hope I can go through with it and not chicken out.
just be a man and shove your big fat dick up her ass
I'm with everyone else, just tell her. and don't make a huge deal about it, do it in a casual (and preferably drunken) way. "you know, I like you. a lot" - something like that. if you don't she'll end up with some other guy and there'll be lots of drama. if you tell her now, you'll either be better prepared for when she hooks up with someone else or she'll hopefully hook up with you.
oh no, don't be doing it drunk. no way, man. be sober as shit. no respectable female wants to be told that they are liked by a drunk person. sober and honest is the way to go.
Quote from: theis on Feb 17, 2010, 12:10 PM
Quote from: blixa on Feb 17, 2010, 12:03 PM
we can tell you all the advice you need, but once you're in front of her about to open your mouth you will bloody forget everything. there's just her face and nothing else, and you're going to feel like the most smallest person in the whole world and at that moment you probably are the smallest person in the world. this is what people mean when you offer yourself to another person, naked and all.
Holy shit, my heart is racing just from reading that. Goddamn, I'm nervous about this.
And no, I won't tell her I'm "falling in love". I'll tell her something along this lines that I have feelings for her and then hopefully the rest comes naturally.
Also, she's just so beautiful and that makes it even more intimidating.
I hope I can go through with it and not chicken out.
oh, jesus. i didn't mean to freak you out. this is why i don't confront people with my feelings. too fucking intense. scares the living crap out of men. it don't matter how beautiful she is. i hope that isn't the main reason you like her because if it is then hmmm. she's probably beautiful because she's beautiful inside. kind of like that movie 'the truth about cats and dogs' where brian says something along the lines of how someone's appearance can change the longer you know them and how a very attractive person, if you don't like them, can become more and more ugly. on the other hand, someone you might not have even noticed and would never have looked at more than once, that if you love them, they can become the most beautiful thing you've ever seen and all you want to do is be close to them all the fucking time.
Is it usually just the two of you spending time together, or are there other people around? I find it hard to imagine that she's gonna freak out if you tell here, as long as she's not talking about her EX all the time or about someone she's totally into (and it's not you).
Maybe she's having feelings for you as well and just waiting for you to make the first step. I wouldn't know, of course. This might not be the advice you're looking for, but I would prefer trying my best and maybe losing a female friend instead of suffering in a lame boy-girl friendship where you don't get what you want anyways.
Quote from: blixa on Feb 17, 2010, 01:02 PM
i hope that isn't the main reason you like her because if it is then hmmm.
Oh, no no no. Not at all. She's the sweetest person ever. She's naturally beautiful and I just find that a bit intimidating.
Quote from: black coffee on Feb 17, 2010, 01:09 PM
Is it usually just the two of you spending time together, or are there other people around? I find it hard to imagine that she's gonna freak out if you tell here, as long as she's not talking about her EX all the time or about someone she's totally into (and it's not you).
Maybe she's having feelings for you as well and just waiting for you to make the first step. I wouldn't know, of course. This might not be the advice you're looking for, but I would prefer trying my best and maybe losing a female friend instead of suffering in a lame boy-girl friendship where you don't get what you want anyways.
A lot of the times it's just her and me. Sure, there are occasions where my other friends join, but she's so easy to be around that it never gets awkward when it's just her and me. As far as I know, she's not into anyone else. She doesn't talk about any other guys.
It's just hard to figure out how to say it. I think we'll start out with watching a movie and after that I'd have to say something. Something along "hey, before you go I need to tell you something...etc"...
that, or slip her some roofies.
explain to her in great detail about how your daily functions have been interrupted by the mere thought of her beauty. tell her that you only know one thing for sure, is that she makes you the happiest person in the world...
good luck man.
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 17, 2010, 01:47 PM
explain to her in great detail about how your daily functions have been interrupted by the mere thought of her beauty. tell her that you only know one thing for sure, is that she makes you the happiest person in the world...
maybe not.
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 17, 2010, 01:47 PM
explain to her in great detail about how your daily functions have been interrupted by the mere thought of her beauty. tell her that you only know one thing for sure, is that she makes you the happiest person in the world...
Ha. If I wanted to freak the living shit out of her, then yes, I'd say that.
when are you planning to tell her? please tell us what happens. goodluck but i don't reckon you'll need it. she'll jump your bones for sure hahaha.
I'm not really sure what I'm gonna say.
It's hard to plan something like that word for word. I hope it just comes to me.
So you're gonna tell her she doesn't make you happy? Defeats the purpose of what your trying to do in my opinion, which is press her to see if she has any of the same feelings as you do. The daily functions thing was a joke, but it can be used as an additive if you need some extra umph if she asks you why. I meant like tell her you lie in bed trying to fall asleep thinking about you know...the next time you will see her, things of that nature.
and yes, the best thing to do is not to plan it. just let it happen.
Yeah I know what you mean. I just don't wanna make it sound too overwhelming.
don't plan it. i agree with that. just tell her when you feel it is best. preferably if you guys are out for a walk or something.
Hmm, it's freezing here so a walk is probably out of the question, hehe.
I think we're gonna watch a movie and then I'll say something afterwards.
remember to bring a bottle of red wine!
Nah, I'm gonna keep it sober. I think that's the best way.
oh to feel so purely about someone. i have a thing for this guy at work but it's mostly based on the fact that i want to fuck his brains out with lustful violently good sex.
tell her that you would climb the highest mountains, swim across the biggest oceans, leap the tallest buildings, bend the strongest metal, read the longest book, cure the most lethal disease, clean up the most pollution, descend into the deepest cavern, discover the oldest civilazation, travel to the farthest star, eat the sloppiest joe, yodle into eternal echo, shop for the best discounts, lie under the deepest oath, purge the most digested lunch, nap through the hottest afternoon, swallow the biggest horse tranquilizer, hopscotch the longest distance, borrow her favorite movie, design the most form fitting pair of pants, rob the richest liquor store, discuss the most complex political matters, pinch the most massive loaf, brick the most basketballs, spin the longest yarn, sheer the fattest sheep, listen to the most banal nagging, betray the deepest loyalty, differentiate the most like patterns, dissolve the most lipophilic solute, stir the thickest stew
for her love
Quote from: theis on Feb 17, 2010, 02:27 PM
Nah, I'm gonna keep it sober. I think that's the best way.
I'm not saying you should get hammered but it's good to set the mood. It's all up to you though. Good luck!
Quote from: raynor on Feb 17, 2010, 03:29 PM
Quote from: theis on Feb 17, 2010, 02:27 PM
Nah, I'm gonna keep it sober. I think that's the best way.
I'm not saying you should get hammered but it's good to set the mood. It's all up to you though. Good luck!
yeah, a glass of wine won't get anyone drunk but will relax you and set the mood.
I'll drink some wine at dinner.
She'd definitely think it was weird if I opened up a bottle of wine on a Wednesday, haha.
be brave, my dear friend Theis, be brave!
but all in all, just try not to be nervous. I mean, yes, this is a big thing etc, but still - you should just keep it cool.
I'm pretty sure she won't hate you or something if you'll laugh a little about yourself being nervous etc.
when in relationship with my girlfriend, we have this very interesting moments when we express our feelings towards each other, but usually she knows that I get very awkward and shy when talking about my feelings; so I just go on and tell her - "get ready, this is going to be weird" and then something like "I want to have ten thousand babies with you" follow.
even though it's not your usual "I love like adore would totally brainlessly fuck your brains out you", but it still pleases me and my girlfriend. we're both kinda too relationship-observant and have quite the same views on cheesy romance etc, so in our relationship we've just kinda skipped the whole "roses and wine" phase and jumped right into "couple" phase. weirdly enough..
Quote from: theis on Feb 17, 2010, 02:05 PM
Yeah I know what you mean. I just don't wanna make it sound too overwhelming.
you mean you don't want to sound like a cheeseball. god damn it no more sugar, you suck.
you'll miss every chance you never take.
I'm nervous for you! Telling people how you really feel is uber stressful. Please let us know how it goes. :)
Quote from: theis on Feb 17, 2010, 04:23 PM
She'd definitely think it was weird if I opened up a bottle of wine on a Wednesday, haha.
what?? GET RID OF HER
jk. just tell her, dont think about how too much.. if its meant to be, u can stumble on words and it doesnt matter how fucked up u
present it. if its a decent girl with a heart she doesnt care about that.shouldnt matter if yr drunk or not. if it matter, its wrong from the get go
Just tell her. If you guys are good enough friends, just telling her wont ruin the friendship if it turns out she doesn't like you. I've done this multiple times. Just tell her straight up and that it's okay if she doesn't feel the same way. You want her to be comfortable and not feel any pressure to possibly give up the friendship. I mean if she knows that you're lovesick over her and it seems as if it's always going to be on your mind, then she probably wont want to hang out so much anymore. But if you let her know that it's still cool to be friends, then everything should be okay. I've been there where it eats you up inside. Getting it off your chest and telling the girl feels so much better. Even if the outcome isn't what you desired, you at least will know how she feels and you wont have to stay up thinking whether or not she likes you too.
for me it wouldn't be okay. i can never be "just" friends when i'm almost obsessed by a girl. it's all or nothing for theis!
Quote from: sing blue silver on Feb 17, 2010, 04:57 PM
you'll miss every chance you never take.
Too fucking true!
Quote from: devilinside on Feb 17, 2010, 05:00 PM
I'm nervous for you! Telling people how you really feel is uber stressful. Please let us know how it goes. :)
Haha, I'm damn nervous as well. but yeah, I'll report back. :)
Quote from: defskull on Feb 17, 2010, 05:29 PM
Just tell her. If you guys are good enough friends, just telling her wont ruin the friendship if it turns out she doesn't like you. I've done this multiple times. Just tell her straight up and that it's okay if she doesn't feel the same way. You want her to be comfortable and not feel any pressure to possibly give up the friendship. I mean if she knows that you're lovesick over her and it seems as if it's always going to be on your mind, then she probably wont want to hang out so much anymore. But if you let her know that it's still cool to be friends, then everything should be okay. I've been there where it eats you up inside. Getting it off your chest and telling the girl feels so much better. Even if the outcome isn't what you desired, you at least will know how she feels and you wont have to stay up thinking whether or not she likes you too.
Great words, man. Thanks.
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 17, 2010, 05:34 PM
it's all or nothing for theis!
Not at all. I wouldn't wanna lose her as a friend. If she doesn't have feelings for me I'm gonna accept that and be cool about it.
oh it'll eat you from the inside. especially when she finds a new boyfriend and tells you how he makes her feel, something you could not accomplish. you'll think you're a failure for the rest of your life. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 17, 2010, 06:46 PM
oh it'll eat you from the inside. especially when she finds a new boyfriend and tells you how he makes her feel, something you could not accomplish. you'll think you're a failure for the rest of your life. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
For once I agree with you. Then you'll be like me and write sappy songs/poetry about how things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to.
Anyway, I'm familiar with the whole "courtship" phase of relationships, and yeah it's a tough task. Is she really that exquisite dude? for you to put your mind through all the stress? If so that's really amazing that you've found someone like that. I remember vaguely having that feeling about someone, and she treated me like a doormat. Now it seems like she's forever in debt to me because of her promiscuity now that we're just friends and i've moved on. However, a part of me still loves her and always will. It's that pure feeling that Blixa was talking about. It never goes away.
Man, lets just say it's better to take a shot in the dark than to turn on the light and miss out on the kiss. I really hope that things work out for you, cause I'm a lover...and I can tell when others are lovers too. We all believe, instead of becoming what people are these days. One thing you never know is that some girls think it's cute to be nervous...some girls think it's alright to be flawed, and have the balls to open up and admit it. If she's the kind of girl who's expecting you to be perfect, then iny opinion that's where i'd draw the line right there...cause from what you've said, it seems to me as if you are attempting desperately to show her that you're not afraid and you are completely cool with just chill, when you really feel like you want to tell her the truth but you're afraid it'll scare her away. remember it's better to be honest, but it is also about the timing so...just trying to give you my thoughts.
So, I said it.
Well, unfortunately she didn't feel the same but she reacted very sweet and we had a good talk.
It was nice to get it off my chest.
get ready for a period of desperate masturbation and booze.
Haha, man. You do know there are other fish in the sea, right?
I feel good, 'cause to be honest, I didn't think I'd pull through with it. It felt good.
She's a wonderful person and I would never compromise our friendship over something like this.
that's great dude, must feel like a huge weight off your shoulders. sorry she didn't feel the same, but like you said - there are plenty more girls out there. at least you get to be good friends with a really nice one.
Yeah definitely.
Well done man! I give you massive credit for saying it. Hope you guys still can be friends and you can move on quickly! Was she surprised btw?
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 17, 2010, 05:34 PM
Not at all. I wouldn't wanna lose her as a friend. If she doesn't have feelings for me I'm gonna accept that and be cool about it.
As Penicks said, I can't be just a friend for a girl I'm obsessed by, especially if she knows about that. The friendship would be too ambiguous then. You gotta wait some time.
Oh, and sorry if she didn't feel the same way. No regret, you did your best.
shit man youre youre in your 20's right ?
not that that should make things any easier but you should atleast know by now that rejection is a MAJOR part of any section in life
so dont ever be intimidated or scared by it...because stressing over what will or wont be doesnt change anything
I feel you though man
Its always difficult to tell anyone your TRUE feelings about anything ( especially when it involves someone you love or are in love with)
and for that it doesnt take "balls" or being "brave" it just takes being human and expressing yourself
you won either way man
(http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8731/pauliewalnuts6.jpg) (http://img33.imageshack.us/i/pauliewalnuts6.jpg/)
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 17, 2010, 10:21 PM
get ready for a period of desperate masturbation and booze.
That's every day of my life.
so what happened after you told her? did yall just watch the movie
Quote from: nonesuch on Feb 18, 2010, 12:59 AM
so what happened after you told her? did yall just watch the movie
I don't know why but I find that post hilarious. ;D
He's gonna go back to listening to emo shit after this.
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
That's cause you're a faggot, else, it would only be 3 billion chances... ;)
Quote from: Vesanic on Feb 18, 2010, 01:18 AM
Quote from: nonesuch on Feb 18, 2010, 12:59 AM
so what happened after you told her? did yall just watch the movie
I don't know why but I find that post hilarious. ;D
hahahahahahahaha!
when she turns you down for another guy. thats when it burns most. friend is a four letter word
Quote from: tarkil on Feb 18, 2010, 05:36 AM
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
That's cause you're a faggot, else, it would only be 3 billion chances... ;)
hahaha.
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
That was not smart of you.
Quote from: Cool Mountaineer on Feb 18, 2010, 12:13 AM
shit man youre youre in your 20's right ?
not that that should make things any easier but you should atleast know by now that rejection is a MAJOR part of any section in life
so dont ever be intimidated or scared by it...because stressing over what will or wont be doesnt change anything
I feel you though man
Its always difficult to tell anyone your TRUE feelings about anything ( especially when it involves someone you love or are in love with)
and for that it doesnt take "balls" or being "brave" it just takes being human and expressing yourself
Yes, I'm 22. But there's a difference between just trying to hook with people at bars, etc, when you're drunk. That's easy, but like you said, telling someone straight to their face how you feel, in a sober condition, it pretty tough.
Quote from: raynor on Feb 17, 2010, 11:37 PM
Hope you guys still can be friends and you can move on quickly! Was she surprised btw?
Yes we're definitely still good friends. She was kinda surprised, but her reaction was sweet and it didn't freak her out in any way.
Quote from: nonesuch on Feb 18, 2010, 12:59 AM
so what happened after you told her? did yall just watch the movie
Ha. We had watched a movie before hand. So we just had a good talk for about 30min after I'd told her.
at least you've tried. you surely won't regret not asking
Quote from: tarkil on Feb 18, 2010, 05:36 AM
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
That's cause you're a faggot, else, it would only be 3 billion chances... ;)
It was a fucking analogy.
Quote from: tarkil on Feb 18, 2010, 05:36 AM
Quote from: No More Sugar on Feb 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
just like i said.
6 billion people, 6 billion chances
That's cause you're a faggot, else, it would only be 3 billion chances... ;)
6 billion chanses if he were a fag? eeh.. so all 6 billion in the world are men?
if he were a fag he would only be interested in men, and that number is about 3 billion too, not 6 billion men,right?
and maybe only 10% of those dudes are homo. cant see how u count.any of u. tarkil,dont do the math, stick with yr mama jokes ;)
Theis, my heart sank when I read that you told her but she didn't feel the same way, man. That sucks. There's nothing quite like that feeling when you click with a girl.
At least she knows though. And you never know what will happen in the future :)
This story reminds me of the ending of the office uk when Tim tells Dawn he loves her. In the christmas special he gets her though!
The Office - Tim and Dawn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CrYUlZIG8s#)
Quote from: ToneDef on Feb 19, 2010, 12:02 PM
Theis, my heart sank when I read that you told her but she didn't feel the same way, man. That sucks. There's nothing quite like that feeling when you click with a girl.
At least she knows though. And you never know what will happen in the future :)
Thanks man. Yeah, it's quite a bummer. Especially since we go together so well. I hard just to "let it go" and move on. Harder than I thought.
have you seen her anything since you told her?
Nope, but I'm gonna see her tonight.
Quote from: theis on Feb 19, 2010, 12:35 PM
Nope, but I'm gonna see her tonight.
god speed, man. i hope it's not awkward or anything. from my experiences, it definitely does.
Quote from: theis on Feb 19, 2010, 12:25 PM
Quote from: ToneDef on Feb 19, 2010, 12:02 PM
Theis, my heart sank when I read that you told her but she didn't feel the same way, man. That sucks. There's nothing quite like that feeling when you click with a girl.
At least she knows though. And you never know what will happen in the future :)
Thanks man. Yeah, it's quite a bummer. Especially since we go together so well. I hard just to "let it go" and move on. Harder than I thought.
My experiences over the last year or so have proven, beyond doubt, that nothing will get in your brain and turn that shit into dog food, faster than a female. I'm, like, this fucking close to chopping my balls off. No drama.
You'll be ok man.
I kinda understand you Theis, I'm on a similar possition, but the big difference is that I see her almost all week since we work in the same place, so it's too hard for me having her close almost all week.
I already told her I like her, but I think she thought I was kidding or something cuz we were having some drinks that day.
Dunno what to do now.
Cool you had the guts to tell her the truth.
Quote from: deftonekid on Feb 21, 2010, 01:18 AM
I kinda understand you Theis, I'm on a similar possition, but the big difference is that I see her almost all week since we work in the same place, so it's too hard for me having her close almost all week.
I already told her I like her, but I think she thought I was kidding or something cuz we were having some drinks that day.
Dunno what to do now.
Cool you had the guts to tell her the truth.
i have the hots for someone at work too. i'm mostly lusting after him though. i just want to fuck him so much.
Quote from: blixa on Feb 21, 2010, 02:08 PM
i have the hots for someone at work too. i'm mostly lusting after him though. i just want to fuck him so much.
you'd be an awesome fuck-buddy. just saying
if you can find her muff through the Forest of Pubes
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 21, 2010, 02:46 PM
if you can find her muff through the Forest of Pubes
point taken :(
Quote from: blixa on Feb 21, 2010, 02:08 PM
i have the hots for someone at work too. i'm mostly lusting after him though. i just want to fuck him so much.
yeah it's to hard to be on that position. what do you do to deal with it?
man I wish I could feel like this for a girl again. it's been ages since I had more interest in a girl besides that I'd like to take off her clothes. I've seriously considered if I might have turned gay, but that's not it. it might just be that I dislike people in general so much,
I got through that phase too, but after some time you rediscover that you need someone to cuddle with and stuff.
Quote from: Jacob on Feb 21, 2010, 09:49 PM
man I wish I could feel like this for a girl again. it's been ages since I had more interest in a girl besides that I'd like to take off her clothes. I've seriously considered if I might have turned gay, but that's not it. it might just be that I dislike people in general so much,
Man, you're saving yourself lots of potential problems like that.
true that
Quote from: lostpilot on Feb 21, 2010, 03:14 PM
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 21, 2010, 02:46 PM
if you can find her muff through the Forest of Pubes
point taken :(
I like how you captitalized "Forest of Pubes" as if it were an actual ancient forest from like Lord of the Rings or something, lol.
Quote from: ToneDef on Feb 21, 2010, 09:56 PM
Quote from: Jacob on Feb 21, 2010, 09:49 PM
man I wish I could feel like this for a girl again. it's been ages since I had more interest in a girl besides that I'd like to take off her clothes. I've seriously considered if I might have turned gay, but that's not it. it might just be that I dislike people in general so much,
Man, you're saving yourself lots of potential problems like that.
yeah I know, that's why I usually don't care. and maybe that's just it - I've had my share of that bullshit, now I'm just numb. comfortably so.
Quote from: shine down unshy on Feb 21, 2010, 11:09 PM
Quote from: lostpilot on Feb 21, 2010, 03:14 PM
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 21, 2010, 02:46 PM
if you can find her muff through the Forest of Pubes
point taken :(
I like how you captitalized "Forest of Pubes" as if it were an actual ancient forest from like Lord of the Rings or something, lol.
Hahahaha!
Quote from: Penicks on Feb 21, 2010, 02:46 PM
if you can find her muff through the Forest of Pubes
you don't know this as fact, do you? ahh, the inklings of the modern man...
im sorry but a hairy muff is just not acceptable
that's just your opinion though. not gospel.
Hairy vaginas aren't so bad. I don't understand why they get such a bad rep.. I mean, shit, pussy's pussy right?
The only thing that bothers me pertaining to vaginas is cleanliness. Ladies (and gents), gotta keep your shit clean. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a smelly vagina.
Quote from: shine down unshy on Feb 22, 2010, 06:14 AM
Hairy vaginas aren't so bad. I don't understand why they get such a bad rep.. I mean, shit, pussy's pussy right?
The only thing that bothers me pertaining to vaginas is cleanliness. Ladies (and gents), gotta keep your shit clean. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a smelly vagina.
well said. I don't mind some hair down there either (just don't let it get out of control - I don't want it stuck between my teeth). as long as it's clean it's all good. nothing worse than a smelly one, because I like to finish what I start.
it's weird you guys mention smell. it's all well to shower daily for hygenic purposes but did you know that your pubic hair is meant to make you more attractive to potential mates. pubic hair traps your smell close to your body, and a huge part of attraction comes from smell. it's like being really attracted to someone who you know is just wrong for you, but you pursue each other anyway. biologically speaking, it has been discovered through research that your natural smell is more attractive than any perfume.
and a fun fact:
(http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/7598/bettie01.jpg)
bettie page had so much pubic hair, she was often made to wear underwear over her underwear in photo shoots. i would've been damn honoured to have gotten her pubes stuck in my teeth!
pubic hair sucks
Any updates on this situation theis?
I have a similar situation, and I don't know what's worse to be honest.
Told one of my best friends that I really like her, and she reciprocated - however she's never had a boyfriend (26 y.o) and reckons the idea scares her (trust issues apparently). Now, we hook up, get pissed and fool around - but the vibe is totally different when we are sober.
My mates think I'm a sad c*nt for perservering for so long, and are under the opinion that I only "think" I want her coz I haven't slept with her yet - which for what it's worth I think is way off.
But I have my suspicions I could be wasting my time. I have sabotaged 2-3 relationships with other people coz I have this girl constantly on my mind.
It's a fkn conundrum.
i've totally done the same thing with the ruining my chances with other girls. i used to have a good friend of mine at college that i was always hoping to get with. i was totally infatuated with this girl, and after about a year of feeling like this, i finally confronted her and failed. obviously that sucks, but what made it worse were the numerous girls i completely ignored at parties and such, just because i was obsessed over one damn broad.
I don't mean to sound like a prick but to be honest, if a girl is into you, it's pretty damn obvious. You don't even have to know her paritculary well, when you talk to her you should be pretty sure whether there is sexual tension between you both, whether she is dropping in hints, complimenting you and asking questions about you and you're future.
If you're really not sure, invite her out for a meal or a drink or both socially, if she says no, you have no hope, if she comes and has a good time make a move.
Quote from: gunsrazorsknives on Mar 28, 2010, 05:56 AM
pubic hair sucks
As we know Vesanic wears them on his face, i would say this comment is rather harsh.
Quote from: the deft ones on Apr 19, 2010, 06:39 AM
Any updates on this situation theis?
I have a similar situation, and I don't know what's worse to be honest.
Told one of my best friends that I really like her, and she reciprocated - however she's never had a boyfriend (26 y.o) and reckons the idea scares her (trust issues apparently). Now, we hook up, get pissed and fool around - but the vibe is totally different when we are sober.
My mates think I'm a sad c*nt for perservering for so long, and are under the opinion that I only "think" I want her coz I haven't slept with her yet - which for what it's worth I think is way off.
But I have my suspicions I could be wasting my time. I have sabotaged 2-3 relationships with other people coz I have this girl constantly on my mind.
It's a fkn conundrum.
move ahead man. There-s nothing worse than loosing somebody you feel attracted to for the mere fact of thinking twice, thrice. etc.
Quote from: Deftones-argentina on Apr 19, 2010, 09:03 PM
Quote from: the deft ones on Apr 19, 2010, 06:39 AM
Any updates on this situation theis?
I have a similar situation, and I don't know what's worse to be honest.
Told one of my best friends that I really like her, and she reciprocated - however she's never had a boyfriend (26 y.o) and reckons the idea scares her (trust issues apparently). Now, we hook up, get pissed and fool around - but the vibe is totally different when we are sober.
My mates think I'm a sad c*nt for perservering for so long, and are under the opinion that I only "think" I want her coz I haven't slept with her yet - which for what it's worth I think is way off.
But I have my suspicions I could be wasting my time. I have sabotaged 2-3 relationships with other people coz I have this girl constantly on my mind.
It's a fkn conundrum.
move ahead man. There-s nothing worse than loosing somebody you feel attracted to for the mere fact of thinking twice, thrice. etc.
Yeah man, get it all out, if she doesn't know, get out of it. She'll either come running or won't.
I had my fair share of women trouble. A good chunk. Seize all you can. Fuck a lot of girls. Taste all the flavours.
I've managed to put myself in trouble yet again. you never know how deep in you are until it's too late I guess.
I might be exaggerating a bit, but let's just say the confusion and worrying is fucking frustrating. why can't people just be straightforward and say what's on their mind? how hard can it be?
Quote from: Jacob on Apr 19, 2010, 09:54 PM
why can't people girls just be straightforward and say what's on their mind? how hard can it be?
Corrected....
A solution may be to turn gay ! ;)
That kinda nervous, hot, sweaty, panicky feeling man. Where you're sitting there in a good mood one minute, then a quick flash of what's bothering you and BAM.. it hits you and puts you on a downer. Where you'll stick in your headphones to take your mind off of shit, only to have to take them out 10 minutes later because you're not even concentrating on the music anymore...
Girls do that the most.
Then money.
Having an abundance of either, though, makes my dick hard.
Quote from: ToneDef on Apr 20, 2010, 02:47 AM
Having an abundance of either, though, makes my dick hard.
that made my day (not your hard dick though, let's get this clear)... :)
Quote from: ToneDef on Apr 20, 2010, 02:47 AM
That kinda nervous, hot, sweaty, panicky feeling man. Where you're sitting there in a good mood one minute, then a quick flash of what's bothering you and BAM.. it hits you and puts you on a downer. Where you'll stick in your headphones to take your mind off of shit, only to have to take them out 10 minutes later because you're not even concentrating on the music anymore...
Girls do that the most.
Then money.
Having an abundance of either, though, makes my dick hard.
That's it man. Fuck, we sound like pussies - but it's so true.
The hardest part is knowing that you've found someone that compliments you perfectly, but for whatever reason you can't have them. Its bull and shit.
Quote from: tarkil on Apr 20, 2010, 03:56 AM
Quote from: ToneDef on Apr 20, 2010, 02:47 AM
Having an abundance of either, though, makes my dick hard.
that made my day (not your hard dick though, let's get this clear)... :)
You wanna suck it, Frenchy? ;)
Quote from: the deft ones on Apr 20, 2010, 04:01 AM
Quote from: ToneDef on Apr 20, 2010, 02:47 AM
That kinda nervous, hot, sweaty, panicky feeling man. Where you're sitting there in a good mood one minute, then a quick flash of what's bothering you and BAM.. it hits you and puts you on a downer. Where you'll stick in your headphones to take your mind off of shit, only to have to take them out 10 minutes later because you're not even concentrating on the music anymore...
Girls do that the most.
Then money.
Having an abundance of either, though, makes my dick hard.
That's it man. Fuck, we sound like pussies - but it's so true.
The hardest part is knowing that you've found someone that compliments you perfectly, but for whatever reason you can't have them. Its bull and shit.
Haha, yeah it sucks man. My ex left me like almost a year ago and I still think of her every day. It's crazy. I was with her a couple years. Talking about marriage, kids etc. I fucked it up and I regret it but what can I do? She got with some huge, black guy for a while. To say that made me lose some sleep is an understatement.
But I'm seeing someone else right now and she's super cool. She's fucking hot too. I was unloading within seconds the first few times I slept with her. Real fucking American Pie shit. I got knocked out by some douche outside a club a few weeks ago. Got concussion and shit. The next day she was at my door with a McDonald's and a pack of painkillers. I'm happy, you know? I moved in with some of my boys and I have a lot of fun. And the thing with this girl is nice and chilled.
You lose a lot of yourself in a relationship because you're having to compromise to make that relationship work. It takes time and effort. Savour the time you have being single because when you finally meet THE fucking girl, you're gonna have to make sacrifices to make it really work I guess.
I don't really know what I'm saying, but enjoy life, man.
That's it Tonedef.
Didn't mean to make this thread about me (if you're reading Theis), but aside from the bitching - there's some cool cats around here and I value a different opinion.
Glad to hear your shit's working out though mate, breakups are fuct - no matter who instigates it, but I'm a firm believer of everything happening for a reason - and shit always works itself out.
Whatever doesn't kill ya...and all that.
Quote from: tarkil on Apr 20, 2010, 02:38 AM
Quote from: Jacob on Apr 19, 2010, 09:54 PM
why can't people girls just be straightforward and say what's on their mind? how hard can it be?
Corrected....
A solution may be to turn gay ! ;)
you're right, girls aren't people. and yes, I've actually considered the possibility of being gay. but I'm not, and there's really not much to do about it.
anyways, long story short - I've met a girl a few weeks ago when I was visiting my home town. I go there pretty much every weekend now, so we've hung out for a few weekends. we haven't gotten further than kissing and sleeping in the same bed, but it's been really cool. the problem is that I have to take all initiative all the time, I'm the one who has to text her, call her or whatever. shit, she doesn't even say hi when we're both sitting on Facebook for hours. but when we actually meet, she seems really into me. we talked quickly last time I met her and I was pretty damn drunk so I can't remember every litle detail, but I just asked what she thinks about us hanging out like this and she said that she likes it, otherwise she wouldn't do it, but then she added "just no expectations". didn't bother me at first, I just thought she meant to take things slow. but the more I think about it, the more it worries me and the more I feel like this guy who just keeps at it and won't leave her alone. so I guess I should back off for a while. but seeing as how I'm the one who visits I need to tell her I'm in town, right? I can't just hope for her to check with him wether I'm coming to town or not. so yeah, I really have no idea what to do right now.... part of me just wants to drop it and simply not bother. but she's such an awesome girl, I just don't want to let her slip away if there IS any chance of me holding on to her.
Sorry Jacob, did she say no expectations, as in 'i have no expectations' or did she mean 'you should have no expectations'.
If it's the latter, i would say she isn't serious, a possible fuck buddy but nothing serious. Sorry to be blunt but this is the internet.
If she meant she has no expectations, that means she is has probably been waiting for you to man up for a while and is getting disillusioned as to whether it will ever happen. If this is the case I would personally invite her out to a casual meal, this makes your intentions obvious (i.e you're asking for a 1 on 1 situation) and one way or another you will get some closure on it. There's nothing worse than sitting at home screwing over whether a girl likes you and feeling like there's nothing you can do about it
Next time she's on facebook make an effort to chat to her. I knew a girl that i used to see out only when i was pissed, she was amazing but I only ever spoke to her when she was drunk and she used to say to me that i was the highlight of her night and drop hints. However, i never made the effort to communicate with her during the day (which in fairness was because she had a boyfriend and i had a girlfreind) but girls - in my opiinon - are more impressed by receiving a sweet message or call from a sober guy during the day then someone acting on dutch courage after several thousand jager bombs.
Man, don't be the first to text her, talk to her on Facebook and shit. Whenever you're in town, let her know and ask if she wants to do something. Do something special or cool. Get the train somewhere together, have her really get to know you. Make a day of it.
Maybe after a good day like that, probe for some shit.. try to get a feel for what's going on. If she's still lukewarm, then fuck it. If you do all you can to have her like you when you spend time together then if she likes you, she'll get in touch.
Also, what's her situation? When I first met the girl I'm seeing now, I had a lot on my mind. She was really into me but I didn't make a lot of effort with her if we weren't hanging out. In time though I really grew to like her. I enjoyed her company. It just took some time for me 'cause I was kinda fucked up.
well, I asked her out right after I met her the second time. we went for a coffee and later a pizza on a Sunday afternoon. the weekend after that we went out again after hanging out a bit the earlier nights. and last weekend I was there after I had slept at her place I asked if she wanted to hang out later that day, and she did. we took a long walk and talked for a good while. I dropped her off at her home and kissed her goodbye. and that's pretty much where I am now - I've said hi to her on Facebook a few times and every time we've talked and it's been nice. I've texted her in the middle of the week just to, you know... show interest. so I've definitely showed more interest while sober than drunk. but I never get the same response back, which is what really bothers me. on the other hand, when she's the one who invited me back to her place, but only after I asked about the situation. it's all very confusing.
and I can't really tell if she meant "you should have no expectations" or "I have no expectations". she just said "no expectations". either way it can be perfectly fine, she might just not have made up her mind yet. but am I supposed to keep showing interest like this until she makes her mind up? it's starting to get pretty annoying.
I guess I'll just have to ask her again next time I see her. but I don't want to come off as too pushy.
ToneDef - like I said above, we've been haning out a lot and she really seemed to enjoy it. last time she told me to call next time I'm in town etc. I think I made my point pretty damn clear by kissing her goodbye. I think the whole thing with me living in another city might be a big problem, even if I visit every weekend. anyways, I'm going there again this weekend and unfortunately I think she's gonna be busy moving house. but I guess I'll just text her and say "I'm in town again, let me know if you want to hang out" or something. not sure about her situation other than that - she mostly studies, and I guess she has a bit on her mind with the move and all. I have no idea if there are any other guys involved and whatnot.
oh, and another detail. I went there on saturday and told her I'd come, and she said she wouldn't be home for the weekend. didn't say why. last night when we talked on FB I asked her where she was, and it turns out she was here in Stockholm where I live. so this means she decided to visit some friend here, without even telling me. I can understand if she wouldn't have had the time to see me, but it'd be a nice gesture to tell me she'd be here you know.
Tonedef, you a brutha from another Mutha! Fully respect you and everyone else for taking some time out for some meaningful shit. Good work.
Jacob, I only read this briefly, but you need to probe. I do in these situations, and when I did last time I found out the truth that she wasn't that fussed so I told her to go away but I hate not knowing and Tonedef sai this, it will just keep coming back. But it does depend what you want I guess... but relationships should always be 50-50, remember that.
Where's Mazzmeister when you need her?
Jacob, as Law said, 50 & 50. If you don't get for 50 back my recommendation is to calm down. This is the same as with good bassists: You'll be noted when you aren't present rather than when you are (it's an abstract metaphor, I hope you got it. Think about Incubus's old bassist and you might get it)
by the way, congrats for a new beginning travis!!!
As for me, my band is starting to have some success, and as a consecuence a few girls have been showing some clear interest in me (and that includes a ciber-"pornstar" who is a friend of my best friend's GF, cool as fuck. Still I'm more about loving than fucking.)