I know I'm probably gonna get a load of people saying ''you're just a kid'' like it makes any difference, but does/has anybody else ever felt isolated from their friends and family and shit?
Stay busy -- keep yourself organized, focus on school. Don't let your family, friends, girls take up all your brainpower. Deal with that shit when you have free time. Get a part time job if you have too much free time.
Have confidence in yourself despite how little it may seem you have going. It's crazy how things will turn around if you keep yourself super busy. It may not cure your isolation, but I'll bet my last dollar that you will make loads of new friends, and if you got family troubles, then focus on getting out of there in a couple of years and going to college. The best part is that you'll find out that girls like guys that have shit going for them no matter what it is.
It's really that simple.
You're 16. I think if you would NOT feel isolated you should be worried. Teenage years = social anxiety ALL THE TIME.
But no worries, man, you will be perfectly fine. As one weak stated, keep yourself busy. Find hobbies. Find people that like hobbies that you like.
And finally, the most important advice I can give you -
become good friends with yourself. You will not be happy with other people if you are not happy with who you are. Know yourself. What do you like, what makes you happy, what makes you disappointed, what are your limits? When you come clean with yourself, other people will take you more openly. That is my experience..
So be strong, brother
thank you both for being cool with me, downtime is bad time. I let shit get so on top of me it feels like its almost impposible to regain control.
you're just a kid
No but these guys pretty much hit it on the head. Keeping yourself busy just keeps your mind occupied instead of feeling isolated.
My whole high school experience/ first two years of college was like that. Keeping busy was the only way I got through it. That, and Netflix. Just work your ass off. Get involved in extra curriculars, community service, and most importantly, study! Colleges love it.
I also think this a great time for you to find out what you're truly passionate about, and keep yourself busy that way. Work on what you want to do later on in life, get ahead of the game. Like one weak said, women love a man who has a ton going on for him, but they love it even more when you're passionate about something.
Just make sure you aren't passionate about sucking dick. I don't think women want that in a man.
read. lose yourself in novels. they can do so much for an imagination. you don't have to be 16 years old to be feeling what you're feeling. we still feel it and we're all much older than you. the feeling of being isolated from everyone never really goes away. you just have to figure out methods in which you can get through it.
read and get a job. work is always a nice escape.
and you know, if you're passionate about sucking dick, then that's okay too hahaha just find something. your passions change overtime. you have probably figured that out. if not, then you will figure it out.
I'm somewhat dyslexic, the last book I read was Fight club by Chuck Palahunik. I found out it was a movie after I speant 4 months reading it ( Yes 4 fucking months ). I play bass and guitar, but tbh that doesnt really count for anything anymore. A lot of its to do with immature friends, I'm not sure if I'm an asshole for thinking my friends are childish or whatever but I can't really connect with them. It's almost impossible to get a job in Wales anymore,let alone if you're a kid, you'd think employers would rather pay someone minimum wage -.-
interesting. what differs you from your friends, in terms of childish? I am curious. I mean, what is being childish? :)
the majority of them are really iggnorant about important things like local shit. I think its pretty important to know whats going on around where you live. A lot of them act like total idiots to impress girls. If being a dick to get a girl works they then think with their dicks for a few weeks until they lose intrest in the relationship. You have to admit thats pretty shitty and immature. I have older friends around 18 - 22, when I hang around with them all we do is get high and drink stupid amounts of jagger. Its fun but not the best of people to spend all my time with.
stay with those people. in my head it's far better.
Which people? older friends?
Yes. Definitely. Especially if they have any kind of intellect.
naw, constantly hanging out with older people who are at their prime age to sit around doing nothing but smoking and drinking will isolate you even more. learning to balance your friends -- your age and older -- will be more beneficial in the end. you're gonna hit that age, so look forward to it and get your shit together before hand (college or job) that way you can enjoy your early 20's.
my doctor said I suffer from detatchment. She didnt really ask about relationships with friends, just activities and concerntration and stuff. Could me thinking of my friends as immature be a result of detatchment?
Wait, you tried to read a movie, and found out 4 months later? That is some epic stuff! I mean, what were you doing in those 4 months?
Allright...Let me put it this way, you think about your friends and their actions, and that is very nice - and has nothing to do with being detached imo. Maybe what your doctor means is, you're thinking about your friends so much you don't focus on your life anymore ( and thereby suffer from detachment ).. but you know, if you cannot comprehend the diagnosis, the best you can do about it is ask your doctor.
I find myself in the same situation, but I'm 22 almost 23. I give advice to others, watch them prosper, care about my siblings' relations, yet I don't have one or haven't had one. I've had lots of fun from 16 to where I'm at now, but I wish I concentrated on what I REALLY wanted. Right now I'm at that point where I've passed my inspiration and I totally have no fucking clue what I'm doing. It's kind of nauseating.
So, what I recommend is listen to one weak; BALANCE. Balance, your fun, your friends, your studies, etc. Except if you truly know what you want to do as a career, fully excel/concentrate on that full force. Make sure to keep contact with friends, but most importantly, think about yourself.
I understand detatchment but honestly I dont think im detatched. Maybe nurotic and anxious.
I feel like my friends the same age are just trying to piss me off. I live in Bangor which has a pretty good university for studying psychology and marine biology. It draws thousands of students every year from all over the world. Yesterday we were skating around the university, loads of minority students were around too cuz a lecture'd just finished, Then my friend turns to me and a couple others and says '' Let's play who can tell the most offensive joke!'' We got so many dirty looks off so many people tat could kick our asses. I thought fuck it, he cant have been that stupid to have said that on purpose knowing that there were so many people around and shit. Later on they started making jokes about joseph fritzle and shit like that whole ''lock your daughter in a celler and rape her'' thing was something to laugh about. If I do have anxiety, I'm sure that hanging out with dickheads can't be helping it.
doesn´t sound like they´re helping. sounds like you´re of a conscious mind that understands basic rights and wrongs. not everyone you hang with is going to be the same way, but finding people who aren´t out to cause trouble all the time might help.
I live in the middle of no where and what little friends I do have live miles away. I don't drive but am in the process of driving. Just split up with my girlfriend recently and that's hard to get over. University is difficult too as I literally have no friends there. Argh it's difficult for me to make friends, so difficult. I guess I've been feeling isolated a lot lately too...
apart from music my main hobbie is aeroplanes and it's difficult to make friends with people who have the same passion for me about aeroplanes :P
Music side of life I just come on here to chat about it as none of my friends like the same music as I do. Kind of sucks going to gigs on my own. Oh wellz
Pain is a part of life. If you feel like your older and more mature than people your own age, good. Take pride in the fact that you have an intellectual gift. I have been years older than other people my age since forever. I just learned how to use that to my advantage and get ahead in life. Not being stupid like the masses is in no way a bad thing. Learn to inspire people, and learn to be inspired. Read, appreciate art, debate, work out, and relax be stupid every now and then too. these are all good things.
Ultimately, someone nailed it on the head ( I think it was Darius ) when he said that you have to be 100% happy with yourself before you can be happy in any relationships. Which is why your teenage years are so sad and lonely. Its the time that you really figure out who you are. So just take the time allotted by society to do so, and find yourself. It's OK if it doesn't happen over night. Just keep at it.
And quit making emo topics. That will help too.
haha
Quote from: Variable on Dec 13, 2010, 07:50 AM
Pain is a part of life. If you feel like your older and more mature than people your own age, good. Take pride in the fact that you have an intellectual gift. I have been years older than other people my age since forever. I just learned how to use that to my advantage and get ahead in life. Not being stupid like the masses is in no way a bad thing. Learn to inspire people, and learn to be inspired. Read, appreciate art, debate, work out, and relax be stupid every now and then too. these are all good things.
Ultimately, someone nailed it on the head ( I think it was Darius ) when he said that you have to be 100% happy with yourself before you can be happy in any relationships. Which is why your teenage years are so sad and lonely. Its the time that you really figure out who you are. So just take the time allotted by society to do so, and find yourself. It's OK if it doesn't happen over night. Just keep at it.
And quit making emo topics. That will help too.
Lots of agreeitude here. If you find yourself sitting around a lot, that always leads to circular-depressive thoughts and all that. So try to use that time to read and exercise your mind and body rather than just feeling depressed and expecting someone to come rescue you, because even if you're so lucky for that to happen, there's a chance that it may not last, and besides that, you do want to be comfortable and confident in your own skin. My most profound bit of advice I can give is don't let anything be a "crutch" for you (i.e. drugs, another person, etc.) The hard shit you go through is what develops you as a person, and learning to deal with shit that you hate or that makes you uncomfortable completely on your own (obviously asking for help from others is not a bad thing or the "crutch" I'm referring to, but accomplishing things of your own accord) will make you so much stronger. It's something that I wish I did more as a teenager as opposed to just moping about it. And working out. I know I sound like a fag, but I really can't emphasize it enough. It does wonders for your flow of endorphins in the immediate term, and your self-image in the long-term.
Also, another thing that I've found helpful is just knowing my philosophies in and out and being able to completely defend them. So just think about your shit, do research, and know it well enough to express it confidently. If your friends or other people don't like it or can't deal with it, seriously, fuck 'em. It's really a balancing act between arrogance and confidence. There's obviously no reason to act like a dick about it, but you just cannot let people fuck with your shit. There's more than plenty of other people out there that will respect you and appreciate you for who you are.
Also, read Libertarian literature (www.mises.org (http://www.mises.org)) :P
Cool... Thanks for the advice.
Everyones entitled to one emo topic, i just got mine out the way early.
Quote from: BillyNo.9 on Dec 14, 2010, 05:22 AM
Cool... Thanks for the advice.
Everyones entitled to one emo topic, i just got mine out the way early.
Take care of yourself, and each other
Quote from: BillyNo.9 on Dec 14, 2010, 05:22 AM
Cool... Thanks for the advice.
Everyones entitled to one emo topic, i just got mine out the way early.
Quote from: alvarezbassist17 on Dec 14, 2010, 02:25 AM
read Libertarian literature (www.mises.org (http://www.mises.org)) :P
seriously, do it. DO IT. Reading this type of literature changed my life forever.
And we will let you slide on this topic only because we are going to assume you were drunk/stoned when you made it. However, you must made a really awesome topic to make up for it. Even if you just make a topic and name it, the really awesome topic, that's good enough for me.
The one thing that helped me was keeping a journal. You don't have to write about your day or any of that bullshit. Just write what you're thinking and feeling. Sometimes when I go back and read what I've written years ago I don't understand it at all. Basically you let yours subconscious take over.