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CONTEST - Deftones: The Vinyl Collection

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Vesanic

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Pink Maggit

Deftones - Pink Maggit

I suggest you to listen to the song while you read my story.

As some of you may know, it is my all-time favorite track. Not just my favorite Deftones' song, but my favorite song at all. This song, as well as the whole White Pony actually, completely changed my life. Yes, the " their music changed my life " deal sounds pretty common, but if the way it changed my life is as common, then the Deftones have done something big to the world.



A couple of years ago, I was a stupid and impulsive teenager. In the era I'm implying, I was 17. Everything had been and was shit. Not from my never-satisfied-kid point of view, but objectively. My parents were my worst enemies due to all the traumas they were injecting to me and themselves, the place I was living at was dirty and filled with insanity, I was desperately looking for someone to love but I was only having random fucks here and there, nothing to be proud about. Sex for sex doesn't work for me. It's just a sample, I don't want to spread everything I've been through in my life because I do not want to sound like a whiner but I honestly wish as many of you guys never experiment what my life was until last year. But to bring the context in, I have to let you know that my life had the anatomy of a fiasco.

I even remember, I was so disgusted, fed up with everything I wouldn't even take care of my look either. I had very long hair and some really heinous beard. A bad impersonation of Daryl Palumbo from 2006 (See him here: http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/208821_158792820846945_100001486852510_330732_5179099_n.jpg). I wouldn't eat, I was skinny as fuck. I wasn't doing that on purpose, I was just not hungry at all. An overhaired melancholic skeleton... :)

But I didn't care, I seriously didn't care about anything anymore. For years, I had been looking for something transcendent, something that would take it to another level, that would make me say " Life is worth it, it's not so grey everywhere after all, there is something, this little something special that makes me glad about living ". But I was done looking for it. I was convinced it would never happen just due to it being absolutely impossible at that point. At the end of the year, I was skipping school everyday, instead of going to school and preparing for the upcoming final exams of my high school years, I would take the train to Brussels to get drunk with some friends in some dirty overtagged spot, it looked like the average white powder dealers headquarters. I would get drunk with Jack Daniel's (most importantly) everyday and try to forget about that grey, tasteless and meaningless existence. I was a seriously fucked up lost soul. I was never complaining to anybody because I hate that and I've never wanted to bother anyone with my problems, but still I was feeling it more than ever, I couldn't fake it, I couldn't go on... Every day would end with hardcore parties implying sex, alcohol and decadence. And probably vomit. I am not proud of that era at all. It's important to deal with regrets but I still have some troubles with that one...

And one of those days, after everybody fell asleep or collapsed in their own puke, the sound system of my friend was still on and someone had put White Pony to play. It was halfway through Feiticeira. I was a Deftones fan way before that, my love for White Pony was already here and wasn't a new born, but this is where everything happened to make it the most impactful record I've ever heard. The imagery, the lyrics, the violence/sensuality mix, the decadence, the depression that would obviously never end. From that moment, I closed my eyes and listened to the whole record. The feelings from that moment are yet to be correctly described. At some point, I felt like I was flying over the whole planet, at some other point, I felt like I was fucking the most beautiful woman ever conceived, etc, etc. White Pony is a masterpiece.

Then came on Pink Maggit. That's where I would be changed forever. The depression was carving deeper in my veins as I was listening to the song, I was more convinced than ever that this feeling would follow me forever and the transcendence I was looking for was an absolute nave utopia. I cried. Silently, but massively. And at the same time, there was a smile on my face. The song was telling me:

" This depression is a part of life. Deflects and flaws of the world are overwhelming you and it's too much, but you must deal with it. You have to. You can. Melancholy will always be there, but you will manage to live with it and to feel satisfaction from it, because since you can find beauty in what's the mildest stuff to people's mind, since you've been through everything, since you know what you're going to experiment for the rest of your life, once you're back to school, you'll be the leader of it all. "

I know this is not the song topic and it's far from the lyrics, but Chino writes songs in order to make people bring up their own interpretations, and that's mine.

After that, I listened to it another dozen of times, and cried my unsatisfaction out. Then I slept for a bit. The next morning, I woke up, went back home, had a serious wash and finally got back to serious things. I wasn't less convinced that my melancholy would stop. I was just convinced there's a way to make it beautiful, to feel extremely good about it, to feel pleasure, delightment and relief. Deftones make depression beautiful, they're the proud sons of The Cure on that point, you know. I had to move on, to control my life, to make everything better myself since nothing, nobody would help me. And even though, like I said, I was still sure melancholy would be my daily bread forever, I started to... Hope.

Today, I'm finally happy. I'm living on my own, studying interesting things and I just recently got engaged to that woman I had dreamt of on that big night. :)

Melancholy is still here sometimes, I still feel like there's something missing, that I'm not flying high enough, but for the most part, I am glad, happy, and satisfied. Because of all the battles I gave my whole soul and body into, because of that slight hope Deftones created in me, because of all the work I've done all fucking alone. Thanks to Pink Maggit. Thanks to the Deftones.

Melancholy is my drug. I'm an addict. But I use it wisely. There are ways to.

I don't care if I don't win, if some people can relate to my story and make their life better, it would be the real victory.


Once again, I didn't want to sound like the average whiner, so sorry if this is what it did to some of you people, but when you speak with your heart, it'll probably happen too.
« Last Edit: Oct 14, 2011, 04:23 PM by Vesanic »


Offline Jaw Knee

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I was 10 years old and It was the summer of 2000. My oldest brother was home visiting from his first year of college . we shared a lot of interests. He was always showing me what ended up being my new favorite game or movie. I had just discovered my new favorite band with the help of the Matrix soundtrack.  I heard that they had just put out a new CD not that long ago in June. This time I felt it was my turn to show my bother something new .So I asked him if he would want to drive me to the mall and he didn't hesitate because he had just gotten his first car. A brand spank"n new 1994 Chevrolet Corsica for his birthday in May. once we got to the mall I told my brother I'd be in and out so he could just wait in the car. I was true to my word and quickly returned and I pulled out the CD. To my shock, my brother replied, " Deftones ! my roommate showed me them and I love them ! they are becoming my favorite band. you're gonna love white pony !" my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. I popped in White pony and we decided to take the long way home. The second song on the album was just finishing and the my bother says to me. " You're gonna love the next song, Elite ! he began to turn the music up even louder  and as soon as Elite started he stepped on the gas so hard it knocked me back into my seat. my heart was pounding fast and I couldn't tell if it was from the acceleration of the car or from how Elite just explodes at the beginning.  we were about 2 mintues into Elite when my bother said " oh shit a cop !"  so we pulled over. The cop said to my brother "do you have any idea how fast you were going ? and do you know that listening to music that loud can make you tone deaf ?! I bet you couldn't even hear my siren " my brother looked over at me and we instantly started laughing." it's funny you said that officer, because the name of the band is Deftones. " said my brother.  " pfff, yeah it  figures. well smarten up and get on out of here "  replied the cop. And so we continued our long way home.



Offline httk

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I would like thank everyone for sharing their stories. They have all been a great read and it is great to see how open and honest deftones' fans are. It is stories like these that make me really appreciate being a deftones fan since 97. On a personal level I can relate to alot of these and as reading them I have shared alot of these same experiences...I find this humbling. I also remember hearing MOS for the first time and having my world completely change, as well as being at a concert and having Chino screaming right in front of me...though it was during BQAD, and I can also relate it to the birth of my son last may. Who is definately going to be a deftones fan as me and him watched the Lollapooza webcast this year (his first concert).

So I just want to thank the deftones for being so great and having the best fans.


Offline 100Modem

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My best memory is starting to listen to the Deftones. This text is more how they "helped me" instead of winning the vinyl. I'm already a winner.
Im not a really old fan of them, I'm a quite recent one. One day a friend of mine told me he liked the Tones and myself, despite reading alot of things about them, never bothered to listen. Then a few days later there was an ad on television about Deftones coming to my country. From there I start listening to them and never stop. First song I was hokked and still my favorite is Be Quiet and Drive. Then I proceeded to listen to all of their songs. It was such an impact while I was listening, how could I 've missed a band like this? I was in the "zone", loving every piece of music.
Went to the concert, had the time of my life and meet Chino in the backstage. It was incredible.

Back then, I was depressed, my personal life wasnt going that well, I didnt want to do anything... But after that year, and since I started listening to Deftones, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING turned around for good. This band gives me such an amazing energy it's hard to explain...
I just want to say God bless them, thank you for everything Deftones.
« Last Edit: Oct 16, 2011, 12:35 AM by 100Modem »


Offline There Will Be Blood

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Some of my best Deftones memories happened when I was still with my love of my life. Those truly are some of the best memorys of my early twenties. It was a long distance relationship that seemed like it was impossible to work out.  But with all the stress and fights about why we were so far apart we always found peace when we both listened to deftones together while drinking some cold beers in her room.  That was about the only thing we had in common that kept this relationship still going is that we both loved Deftones. Shes gone now but when I hear Teenager I think of her and what we had and lost.


Offline defsteve

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Europe September 2003.

Deftones toured with The Revolution Smile and A Perfect Circle.


Song - Head Up.

After attending 3 UK shows (Nottingham, Glasgow and London) went to the Paris show and the last night of the tour in Dusseldorf.

Pictures paint a thousand words....

Managed to get a photo of the "3 Bassists" on the tour. Chi (Deftones), Octavio (The Revolution Smile) and Jeordie (A Perfect Circle)


Shaun Lopez up during 'Head Up' in Paris....

Although I have seen Deftones many times, the times spent travelling around the UK and Europe in September 2003 still remain high on my list of favourite times. Any time armed police have to come into a dressing room (**reason removed to protect the innocent**  ;)) always means a good night was had by all. Haha!

Great times. Which are what make great memories.

« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2011, 08:23 PM by defsteve »


Offline Drop-Dead

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Winner announcement: http://www.deftonesworld.com/the-vinyl-collection-contest-winner-announcement/

Winner memory below:


Pink Maggit

Deftones - Pink Maggit

I suggest you to listen to the song while you read my story.

As some of you may know, it is my all-time favorite track. Not just my favorite Deftones' song, but my favorite song at all. This song, as well as the whole White Pony actually, completely changed my life. Yes, the " their music changed my life " deal sounds pretty common, but if the way it changed my life is as common, then the Deftones have done something big to the world.



A couple of years ago, I was a stupid and impulsive teenager. In the era I'm implying, I was 17. Everything had been and was shit. Not from my never-satisfied-kid point of view, but objectively. My parents were my worst enemies due to all the traumas they were injecting to me and themselves, the place I was living at was dirty and filled with insanity, I was desperately looking for someone to love but I was only having random fucks here and there, nothing to be proud about. Sex for sex doesn't work for me. It's just a sample, I don't want to spread everything I've been through in my life because I do not want to sound like a whiner but I honestly wish as many of you guys never experiment what my life was until last year. But to bring the context in, I have to let you know that my life had the anatomy of a fiasco.

I even remember, I was so disgusted, fed up with everything I wouldn't even take care of my look either. I had very long hair and some really heinous beard. A bad impersonation of Daryl Palumbo from 2006 (See him here: http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/208821_158792820846945_100001486852510_330732_5179099_n.jpg). I wouldn't eat, I was skinny as fuck. I wasn't doing that on purpose, I was just not hungry at all. An overhaired melancholic skeleton... :)

But I didn't care, I seriously didn't care about anything anymore. For years, I had been looking for something transcendent, something that would take it to another level, that would make me say " Life is worth it, it's not so grey everywhere after all, there is something, this little something special that makes me glad about living ". But I was done looking for it. I was convinced it would never happen just due to it being absolutely impossible at that point. At the end of the year, I was skipping school everyday, instead of going to school and preparing for the upcoming final exams of my high school years, I would take the train to Brussels to get drunk with some friends in some dirty overtagged spot, it looked like the average white powder dealers headquarters. I would get drunk with Jack Daniel's (most importantly) everyday and try to forget about that grey, tasteless and meaningless existence. I was a seriously fucked up lost soul. I was never complaining to anybody because I hate that and I've never wanted to bother anyone with my problems, but still I was feeling it more than ever, I couldn't fake it, I couldn't go on... Every day would end with hardcore parties implying sex, alcohol and decadence. And probably vomit. I am not proud of that era at all. It's important to deal with regrets but I still have some troubles with that one...

And one of those days, after everybody fell asleep or collapsed in their own puke, the sound system of my friend was still on and someone had put White Pony to play. It was halfway through Feiticeira. I was a Deftones fan way before that, my love for White Pony was already here and wasn't a new born, but this is where everything happened to make it the most impactful record I've ever heard. The imagery, the lyrics, the violence/sensuality mix, the decadence, the depression that would obviously never end. From that moment, I closed my eyes and listened to the whole record. The feelings from that moment are yet to be correctly described. At some point, I felt like I was flying over the whole planet, at some other point, I felt like I was fucking the most beautiful woman ever conceived, etc, etc. White Pony is a masterpiece.

Then came on Pink Maggit. That's where I would be changed forever. The depression was carving deeper in my veins as I was listening to the song, I was more convinced than ever that this feeling would follow me forever and the transcendence I was looking for was an absolute nave utopia. I cried. Silently, but massively. And at the same time, there was a smile on my face. The song was telling me:

" This depression is a part of life. Deflects and flaws of the world are overwhelming you and it's too much, but you must deal with it. You have to. You can. Melancholy will always be there, but you will manage to live with it and to feel satisfaction from it, because since you can find beauty in what's the mildest stuff to people's mind, since you've been through everything, since you know what you're going to experiment for the rest of your life, once you're back to school, you'll be the leader of it all. "

I know this is not the song topic and it's far from the lyrics, but Chino writes songs in order to make people bring up their own interpretations, and that's mine.

After that, I listened to it another dozen of times, and cried my unsatisfaction out. Then I slept for a bit. The next morning, I woke up, went back home, had a serious wash and finally got back to serious things. I wasn't less convinced that my melancholy would stop. I was just convinced there's a way to make it beautiful, to feel extremely good about it, to feel pleasure, delightment and relief. Deftones make depression beautiful, they're the proud sons of The Cure on that point, you know. I had to move on, to control my life, to make everything better myself since nothing, nobody would help me. And even though, like I said, I was still sure melancholy would be my daily bread forever, I started to... Hope.

Today, I'm finally happy. I'm living on my own, studying interesting things and I just recently got engaged to that woman I had dreamt of on that big night. :)

Melancholy is still here sometimes, I still feel like there's something missing, that I'm not flying high enough, but for the most part, I am glad, happy, and satisfied. Because of all the battles I gave my whole soul and body into, because of that slight hope Deftones created in me, because of all the work I've done all fucking alone. Thanks to Pink Maggit. Thanks to the Deftones.

Melancholy is my drug. I'm an addict. But I use it wisely. There are ways to.

I don't care if I don't win, if some people can relate to my story and make their life better, it would be the real victory.


Once again, I didn't want to sound like the average whiner, so sorry if this is what it did to some of you people, but when you speak with your heart, it'll probably happen too.


Offline There Will Be Blood

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Offline pony_01

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Offline Danny Keyes

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fixed.

im just bitter! ;)
« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2011, 04:07 AM by Danny Keyes »


Offline Jesus2Chino

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Congratulations V! If not for the story, you definitely deserve this for everything you've done for the Deftones community. Enjoy it man!

Much respect,
-Matt
Much respect,
-Matt


TheShade1989

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Congrats Vesanic, thought you'd win wen I read the story, and definitely well-deserved.


Offline DEFinatelydeftones,fsho

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 :) Congratulations Vesanic! U definately deserve this man, based on your story alone. I say that in that way because I actually thought it would be proper for u to win anyways because of all the good things u do for Deftones fans who belong to or just visit this forum. U bring a lot to the table that we wouldn't have without u and it's actually the least that could happen for u. Liked a lot of the stories from many people but u really nailed it. And good luck on this lighter side of the world u r now in.... I know what it's like to be there. I am there now working to get out. Truely inspiring my friend. Congrats again.
Pushing you back but still you ain't goooooooooone!!!!!!


Offline from_musings

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fixed.

im just bitter! ;)

damn, i wanted to read what you wrote first. you snooze you lose i guess ^


Offline skinnypuppy

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Congrats, man. Got a little teary eyed with your story.


Vesanic

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Thank you all, guys, I'm honored.

I've got thank some of you too for sharing some really meaningful stories, definitely inspiring stuff.


Offline Crazy Breed

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Congrats dude! such a sweet prize! enjoy! I know you will!  ;D
The shade, is a tool, a device....a saviour!


Offline Oldnewtype

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Offline skinnypuppy

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Offline 100Modem

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I liked reading every single story in this thread. Some of them relate to mine and its cool to see that, my brothers.
Anyway congrats man!