joke of the day

[Vesanic]

dude, that's horrible.

Black humor. Sorry if you're not a fan.

[Necrocetaceanbeastiality]

I chuckled.

[Penicks]

So this man walks into a bar.





He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

[Jacob]

dude, that's horrible.

Black humor. Sorry if you're not a fan.

HA! black humor. that was funnier than the inital joke

don't worry, I'm very much into black humor. I once talked to a jewish girl about how much I loved Call of Duty 2 but hated that I couldn't play as one of Hitler's lackeys.

[Vesanic]

HA! black humor. that was funnier than the inital joke

[blixa]

theis' bruce lee joke was the best!

[Vesanic]

theis' bruce lee joke was the best!

Wrong.

Hoobastank - The Greatest Hits

nothing to add here.

This was the best.

[blixa]

it wasn't really a joke. more like a statement. actually let's not beat around the bush - it was fact.

[Vesanic]

it wasn't really a joke. more like a statement. actually let's not beat around the bush - it was fact.

Posting a topic called " joke of the day " and this being the first message is the whole reason why it's the funniest thing of this thread.

[momo]

i know its really racist but its just a joke!







how do u scare a black person?














hang one from ur tree

[momo]

What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

bahahahaa i was tellin that joke to my friend and i hit him right in the adams apple lol
and there was another time when me and a few friends threw water on the same guy lol
he had a stutterin problem lol dont worry he was a douche lol


























































Wataaaaaarr!

[wax]

what do you call a mexican doing good? manwell

a priest and rabbi get deserted on an island. one day they spot a young naked boy on the beach. the priest tells the rabbi, 'we should screw him!' the rabbi replies, 'out of what?!'

[Vesanic]

How do you spell gay ?


J-U-S-T-I-N-B-I-E-B-E-R.

[Necrocetaceanbeastiality]

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?




None, because vegans can't change anything. Or the alternate punchline. 301, 1 to change the lightbulb and 300 to protest the waste of energy.

[derekautomatica]

Here's a Disney one...

So Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce...mind you they live in California so it's nothing out of the ordinary. The judge looks at Mickey and says "Now Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie for being silly. It just doesn't make sense." Mickey sighs and looks up at the judge and says "No, she's not silly shes FUCKING Goofy."

ha....

[nintendoXO]

Whats the difference between Roast beef and pea soup..?



















Anyone can roast beef but no one can pee soup!

[Vesanic]

It sucks. 

[Penicks]

why are aspirins white




















they work

[tarkil]

why are aspirins white




















they work

Ha ha ha ah !

[wax]

Two blondes were going to Disneyland .  They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.  They started crying and turned around and went home.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'  The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ??'

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the 
mechanic it died.  After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 
She says, 'What's the story?' 
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. 
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.' 
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. 
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you? 
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.' 
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' 
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!' 
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!' 
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'  The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian. 
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!