Sharing Lungs - Deftones Online Community

"Beautiful Heavy Set Up" <- Epic Tragedy Poetry

Started by No More Sugar, Dec 07, 2009, 01:27 PM

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No More Sugar

No italics for this one, so no one gets annoyed and doesn't even read through my extensive writing.

Well, I suppose it's public knowledge that I like to write...and as i sat in my computer chair this whole night writing down notes...plot elements...twists...and the general consensus for this Tragedy that I am now working on as of Today...Monday, December 7th, 2009. Idk what any of you think about the few writings i've posted on sharing lungs, but I'd really appreciate it if any avid readers would at least give this a chance when it's finished.(Of course it's going to be nothing like my poetry/songs.) I initially got the idea from a sketch done by Wither-I for a character who's bleeding into physically nothing. This has evolved overnight into a metaphor for the mental stability of the Tragic Hero of my story...

As some of you may know(If anyone even knows? haha) Circa Survive is one of my favorite bands, and Juturna is in my top 5 favorite albums ever. Some of this story is in fact based on some of the lyrics from songs off of that particular CD. Specifically, "Holding Someone's Hair Back" in which the first verse and chorus essentially give a good look to where the two most important characters in the story are troubled, and the main event of the story.(no one will probably understand how it fits until after the story has been read, but i figured i'd try to give just a bit of insight.) Also another song that tells of an event that the story slowly builds up towards would be "Wish Resign". Specifically the line: "Birth mother VS The Mid-Wife". Some of the story is inspired by real-life events, and Samuel Beckett.(The author of the famous play "Waiting for Godot"..another inspiration for even deciding on writing a tragedy with comedic elements laced within it.) I of course can't make any of you want to read what i've got cookin here, but if any of you believe it might be worth a try, please don't hesitate...it would make me really happy to know someone actually read my works. And fuck, if you liked it...that'd make me even happier! but lets not get too ahead of ourselves here.

Essentially it's going to be a relatively modern tale. I'd say you could place it anywhere you'd like, but I was thinking sometime within the last 20 years. I had initially thought of it to be set within the days of Christ's presence on earth, but i felt that was a little boring, given the actual story, and all the circumstances. A story of Unconditional Love, Failure, The ultimate in what you'd call someone/thing a "Control Freak", Promiscuity, Sneakiness, Reversal of Fortune, Pity, Helplessness and(Can't believe i'm giving this out..but) ultimately, days after the events of the actual story the earth is reduced to a smoldering pile of ash, as the Sun ceases production of hydrogen and enters an early Red Giant stage. Of course the ultimate fate is unknown by all characters, except for one(who knew it was going to happen when it did. yes, we're talking about God of course...as a main character, and ironically, is actually the biggest(unseen throughout the whole story) protagonist.

The names of all but the two main characters, and (his)closest friend, are subject to change. However, the names of the two main characters are "Imoana"(the girl.) and "Juturna"(the boy.)No the girl's name is not a reference to the deftones, and NO my friends, this will only in the case of the two main characters being of the opposite sex/being unconditionally in love, be anything remotely close to Romeo and Juliet. There is a deeper plot, and TONS of details that I've been taking notes on all night long, and as I write the Acts and Scenes the story will be laced with all kinds of references to modern ways of thinking, culture references, historical references, and even controversial references. I intend on making this my personal landmark(in my eyes).

So i guess the reason I made this thread is to let anyone who's moderately interested in the story from what little i've described so far, my progress on completing this, and on occasion I'll be posting Author's Notes that i feel might be important for a potential reader to be able to look over AFTER reading the story(if something isn't quite making sense. although i plan on answering pretty much every possible question except the things that the reader should be able to decide for themselves...which there are quite a few things i've already noted might qualify in that category. oh and if i post any notes, my english on the notes will definitely be very much coded so that until you finish the story, you won't quite understand all the way.)

I really hope that at least someone will be slightly interested in what i'm doing. If it's not appealing to anyone, I'd understand fully, and I'd return to doing it for my own personal purposes. A big <3, and a big thank you to ANYONE who will be willing to give the finished product a read. Today I'll be writing the prologue and Act One, Scene One. Then possibly take a week off to retain inspiration and resume work next, and every following Sunday and Monday. And if i'm ever not feeling lazy, i'll gladly be writing more to get it to anyone who really is anticipating it faster. This is gonna be a pretty big piece for me. I'm making at LEAST 4 Acts, with 4 scenes home to each act. I plan on filling up at least a notebook and a half with this piece. Not including the Epilogue i plan on writing, elaborating on some of the thoughts and points of the story from my perspective. But yeah, If anyone's actually interested, feel free to let me know here. :)

Love,

Carl.

PS: the first author's note to any readers is as follows. it is the main chorus line from "Oh, Hello", from Juturna.

"Didn't I know you? Didn't I know you? Didn't I know you?"
QuoteSome one tell me shut up.

No More Sugar

#1
I honestly don't know how I'm going to get this online for anyone to read it, but I'll find some way. Probably fanfiction..I'm just lazy. Writing it in a notebook is tedious enough. I feel like anyone who reads it will have a very good in depth look at some of my daily thoughts, and quite a few events that undoubtedly changed my life. Especially if you can connect with the two main characters(One of whichs personality is based upon my own, and the other based upon the personality of my most recent ex girlfriend. Both are extremely confusing...It's actually shaping out to be half story, half play(as the "unnamed" person who's telling the events makes note of setting and time changes.) Also the flow of tense is lacking in any formal order, shifting from past to present very often, sometimes within the same sentence.(This is possible because the story is pretty much told in the form of thoughts.) There is never a definite identification of the time or which day it is, and as the story progresses the days jump in random amounts. Overall, it's becoming something I'm very proud of, and I've already pulled together a basis for the buildup, climax, resolution and epilogue, which will all be very shocking.

The prologue is finished, and I'm about...13 pages into act 1.
QuoteSome one tell me shut up.