Sharing Lungs - Deftones Online Community

Random Jokes

Started by TheProzacFairy, Feb 15, 2006, 12:19 AM

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Uno

Hondas are like tampons...

every pussy has one!!

with the heart of gold... to have and to hold.

tarkil

   A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole ..."



If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face.

Martin

Hahahahaha awesome ;D

Crazylegs


Chrisbo

Hehehe, good one!

Quote from: Chino Moreno
You are as cool as you tell yourself you are...everybody just do what you do...have a good time...don't walk around being a punk...walk around and be excited...live your life

Subliminal


tarkil

What does a 70 years old lady have between her boobs ?

































Her belly button... ;D



If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face.

Martin


Chrisbo


Quote from: Chino Moreno
You are as cool as you tell yourself you are...everybody just do what you do...have a good time...don't walk around being a punk...walk around and be excited...live your life

neurotic

I found gross collection of the Princess Di's death jokes... will anyone be offended if I post them?

...never trust the obvious...

Uno


with the heart of gold... to have and to hold.

neurotic

What do you give the princess who has everything?
A seatbelt and an airbag.
*
What does Princess Di turn into at midnight?
The wall
*
What did the Queen Mother give Fergie for her birthday?
A Black Mercedes and a trip to Paris.
*
Did you hear they are going to make a movie about her?
It's going to be called "Di hard" or "Live and Let Di"
*
What does DIANA stand for?
Died in a nasty accident.
*
Dodi said Di and she did.
*
Did you hear about the new Pink Floyd album?
"Another Brit in the Wall"



These jokes aren't meant to be disrespectful, and I'm sorry if anyone finds them insulting...
...never trust the obvious...

Martin


Uno


with the heart of gold... to have and to hold.

Sleep

hahahaha, Princess Di jokes...horrible...but so funny...


Here are some horribly corny lightbulb jokes:

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

400,000.  1 to screw in the lightbulb and the other 399,999 to follow him just for doing so.

How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change?...who wants change?

and finally...

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They like to sit and cry alone in the dark.

Mascara Snake

Whats blue and fucks old people?


pneumonia


What do you call 2 retards in the bath?



Vegatable soup


"Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST..."  Frank Zappa

tarkil

Quote from: Mascara Snake on Nov 07, 2006, 02:52 PM
What do you call 2 retards in the bath?



Vegatable soup

Ha ha, I like this one... :D



If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face.

Mascara Snake

Why did the bookmakers not give simon weston his money?






cause he had a burnt coupin!!

hahaha i love that one!!!

"Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST..."  Frank Zappa

skinnypuppy

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown outfit.
whats funnier than a dead baby in a clown outfit?
nothing.

tension_the_wire

What is the real reason that Steve Irwin died?




He wasn't wearing suncream to protect himself from the harmfull rays.


hahahahaha. proberley been already posted...and this is the nice one!