Sharing Lungs - Deftones Online Community

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Offline sing blue silver

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--I'm homeless. Like sleeping on the street homeless. Trying to hide it from friends and family is painful. I'm isolated and have never felt so alone. I've been trying to turn my life around but nobody wants to take a chance on a guy like me and I don't blame them.
« Last Edit: Jul 17, 2013, 04:59 AM by sing blue silver »


Offline deftones47

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+ Seeing The Dillinger Escape Plan in concert soon
+ Otakon a week after that

And SBS, that really sucks. Try to be positive, though.


Offline sing blue silver

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And SBS, that really sucks. Try to be positive, though.

Kinda hard. Been trying to find a job for about 2 months now. I'm 100% broke, no place to live, all my things (including my Deftones collection) are in a storage space I can no longer afford. I'm in debt over my head. I have no family and no friends to really help me out. I'm trying but... It's beyond the point where I can just pull up my socks and move on. The woman I love hates me. I have nothing left.


Offline lostpilot

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SBS, try to stay positive.. karma is karma, something good will come your way.


Offline luisch

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Head up, SBS, sending you good vibes, amigo.
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Offline lftpp

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Offline digital bath

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@sing blue silver, that sounds really hard man  :(
is there really no one who can help you?


Offline deftones86

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-wont see 30 but at least its on my terms

What the fuck? why

Sorry tried to off myself a few weeks ago but I'm better now found out im schizophrenic and just generally a crazy person but better


Offline luisch

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Sounds like an interesting blend. I'm looking forward to the music! :D

thank you man, heres our second rehearsal. Im on the bass btw

Padmé Amidala
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Offline deftones47

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Good! I like it! I can hear the Deftones influence. The opening guitar reminds me of Rosemary.

Keep it up!


Offline luisch

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+ Thumbs up! woah! Thank you guys :D
Searching the machine might reveal what you don't want to know


Offline lostpilot

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long post
tl;dr

[spoiler]- It's devastating. I can't make decent music = fullfil the dream of my life that revolves just around making music. Or either I can't make music that is refined, focused and finished, polished. And I want to be a professional.. Yeah sure. Over seven or eight years of music making I wrote, recorded, played, sang and (sometimes) released in album form around 300 tracks. I used to make really shitty music, ambient nonsense where tracks are 9 minutes long and three chords are repeated to death. Then I switched over to post-rock (as "the Picturesque Episodes") and it's forms, wrote some quality music that was produced poorly and a vision that is always rushed kept being released in form of albums. So I never really succeeded..

And only recently (a year or more) I shifted towards electronic music that I love making, beats, bass, all kinds of influences, releasing the music under the name King Sleep. I feel like my progress is infinite from where I started (know that as most of you who are musicians I don't have any kind of musical training schooling) but from all of these tracks.. none of them are polished, none of them are finished. Always a step behind. Always something lacking.

I did play probably around 30 or 40 shows during these years, both with a live rock band, or as one man project, with audience building up but never really breaking out. I am 25 and it feels like I have to start making decisions about the long term future, and it seems that it's about time to give up on all this because music does take time.. time that I could sell to all of the corporate fantasy bullshit. I love music way too much to stop making it, so I would probably record small pieces for myself from time to time.. but it all seems as an opportunity wasted, a dream untrue, tons of bad luck. There's a sense of missing out, when I clearly know that some local musicians just make acid jazz and some other rather bad music and it's glorified. And it will sound narcissistic but I don't think I am getting enough positive encouragment. Music is truly social, isn't it?

I wish there were signs that this road is for me. My music is becoming universal in the sense of meaning and creation and I could be making any kind of music any time soon, because all forms of music are beautiful in their own way. And I just can't seem to write that one song that would open up all of the possibilities in music. It's disappointing. And I can't say that I have a bad life - it's rather good actually, but this one element, it just keeps coming back. It's truly essential to my existence as a human being. It's fucking with my mind to a point where I am slowly driven mad by this lack of leveling up as a person, musician, etc.

What a waste of time..
[/spoiler]


Offline DeftonesNZ

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I wouldn't worry about it man I've heard your stuff and you've got the talent, don't let the fact you haven't gone pro make you think any different. you have to be extremely fortunate to earn a living off making music it's never a good idea hedge all your bets on it no matter how talented you are. Just establish some solidility in the other areas of your life you'll still be able to make music, you will have less time to spend on it but at the same time you don't have to worry about your stability, it sounds like because you have fully dedicated yourself to being a musician you've been putting pressure on yourself to become successful and it's taking the enjoyment out of it, just take the pressure of yourself and have fun, your music will improve and the success will naturally come with it.


Offline lostpilot

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Thanks for the good thoughts, man! It's a very discouraging process.. if only you knew what kind of music is popular in Lithuania, you would see the problem:)


black coffee

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^ honestly the kind of music you're making wouldn't be listened by the majority of people in any country in the world, I don't believe thats an exclusive Lithuanian problem.
Things would probably be easier for you in a bigger country with a bigger music scene, but we cannot know what could or would have been.

Talking about facts instead, you played 30 or 40 shows, some festivals, composed lots of tracks...  That is a very respectable feat in my opinion. Maybe you didn't reach as many people with your music as you planned to, but you tried and achieved more than many other musicians.

I was talking to band members of God Is An Astronaut after a show once, and they admitted that without the internet, they probably would have never made it outside of Ireland. Suddenly they got requests for concerts from abroad and music magazines from all over Europe were interested in them and this got the ball rolling... also it made things easier for them to sort of be "in the right place at the right time", just about when Post Rock was getting popular. so I strongly believe that luck is an important component as well. So I agree with NZ, give it time and enjoy making music, and everything else will come by itself.


Hank

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^^ totally.

I enjoy your stuff . I guess just be happy with what you have accomplished so far and if the other things you look to accomplish happen then ....they do. If not, just look at what you have done and be proud and continue to do it for the love and fun of it.

awesome sounds also luisch
« Last Edit: Jul 27, 2013, 12:47 AM by Hank »


Offline lostpilot

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Thank you guys, as a matter of fact I just played a nice set today in a very nice psy festival in lithuanian forests. And had a very nice chat about the future with a guy who likes music just as much as I do and want to make things happen. So, well. HOPE IS HOPE. Good thoughts!


Offline deftones47

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- Otakon wasn't as fun as I thought it would be this year
+ Got an artist to do a commission of Chino Moreno (will post in SL soon)
+ Finally saw Wolf Children Ame and Yuki


Offline digital bath

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+ go to see deftones tomorrow :)
- first train to back home will drive at 4:30 am
- journey home takes nb 4 hours